....And Life Goes On

Remember this grief wheel that I posted shortly after starting this blog?  I'm proud to say that I've almost come full circle now.  I waiver back and forth between Obsession and Acceptance.  I think that I'm pretty darn close to being into the full "acceptance" circle!

Between all of my ailments, I have pain daily.  I understand now, that nothing is going to change that.  I will always have pain.  The numbness hasn't went away, in my left hand and fingers.  I now accept that it may never go away.  I'm always going to be tired and drained of energy, although some days will be better then others.  I accept that.  I absolutely despise taking Ultram, but I now accept that if taking Ultram is the only way to get through a day of doing things I want to do, then it's ok for me to take it.  When I say that I despise taking it, boy do I mean it.  To give you an idea, I filled my very first prescription for Ultram the beginning of August, 2011.  I'm prescribed 40 pills to a bottle.  I did not refill my prescription until December 23, 2011.  At the time of refill, I still had about 8 or 9 pills left.  I used them very sparingly. 

Will my fibro and arthritis symptoms get worse over the years?  I don't know.  All I do know, is that they started getting bad a year ago May.  They've gotten worse, rather then better, throughout this past 10 months.  Therefore, I'm not going to give in to chronic pain and fatigue.  While I can, I'm going to get out and do as much as possible.  Today, for the first time ever, I said right outloud that maybe, just maybe, getting fibromyalgia and arthritis is a blessing in disguise.  Ok, I almost see you all cringing when reading that.  What I mean by that though, is that I'll never again take a pain free day for granted.  When I plant my flowers in my front flower bed this year, I'll enjoy the fact that I could plant them.  They'll look brighter and prettier to me, every time I look at them.  In other words, I'm going to enjoy life.  I won't take a single day, or a single activity, for granted again.

I refuse to allow my disorders to control me and my life.  I have fibromyalgia and arthritis, but I'm not fibromyalgia and arthritis.  Does that make sense to you?  I sure hope so!

The Most Common Misconception About Fibromyalgia



I was doing some research to try and put together a fact vs myth type post about fibromyalgia.  I'm still going to do that within the next day or so, but I ran across an interview tonight that has a few paragraphs worth posting.  The interview was with Connie Ludtke, R.N. who's the nursing supervisor of the Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Clinic at the Mayo Clinic, Rochester, MN.  The interview is posted on the Mayo Clinic's website and you can find the entire interview HERE.

When asked, "What is the most common misconception about fibromyalgia?" this was her reply:

"The top misconception is that people think fibromyalgia isn't a real medical problem or that it is "all in your head." It's sometimes thought of as a "garbage-can diagnosis" — if doctors can't find anything else wrong with you, they say you have fibromyalgia. Being diagnosed with fibromyalgia does require that you meet specific criteria, including painful tender points above and below the waist on both sides of the body.
There's a lot that's unknown about fibromyalgia, but researchers have learned more about it in just the past few years. In people who have fibromyalgia, the brain and spinal cord process pain signals differently; they react more strongly to touch and pressure, with a heightened sensitivity to pain. It is a real physiological and neurochemical problem."

When asked, "Can misconceptions about fibromyalgia be harmful?" this was her reply:

"If people with fibromyalgia believe there is no help for them, they're going to stay stuck. Even if there isn't a cure, there are treatments that can really improve their quality of life. When people learn they have fibromyalgia, they can go through the stages of grief and loss — including experiencing anger and attempts at bargaining. When they get to the peace of acceptance, that's when they can realize there are limits to what medical technology can do. There's no magic surgery or pill that can fix this. They need to recognize that it's OK to ask for help with things and that it's OK to give themselves time for exercise and relaxation each day. They need to make their own health a priority. "

I find both of those paragraphs very informative.  Especially the last one.  When I read that people with fibromyalgia can go through the stages of grief and loss, it really hit me.  Sure, we've all heard of the "grief cycle", but for me I related that to someone who's told they have cancer or that they're terminal.  After reading this, and really thinking about it, I see that's exactly where I'm stuck right now.  In the grief cycle.  I'm not yet to peace and acceptance stage.  Looking at the grief chart above, I'm stuck going back and forth between depression, guilt, and obsession I think.  Where do you fall in the cycle?