The Enemy Within: How to Stop Self-Sabotaging Your Success

Self-Sabotage.  Most people have heard this term before in their lives, but what is self-sabotage?!  According to Dictionary.com, self-sabotage is defined as "the act or habit of behaving in a way that interferes directly with one's own goals, well-being, relationships, etc., as by comfort eating, procrastination, or lashing out at others".   In other words, blowing up your entire world yourself lol. 

 Self-sabotage is way more common than people think it is.  All four of my children were active in different sports but one they all had in common, was competitive judo/jujitsu.  My dad, who is 85 years old now, used to go to a whole lot of their tournaments and he'd always tell them right before their match "Now don't go out there and beat yourself. If you lose, lose by making your opponent beat you".  He also said that a LOT to my oldest son Cody, who was also a high-school state wrestler, college wrestler, and MMA cage fighter after his college wrestling days. -Yes, the photo below is from one of his MMA fights, and yes, he's the one on top facing the camera lol.

Although Cody had an amazing overall sports career, even he admits that at times, he was guilty of "beating himself".  Guilty of "self-sabotage".  This phenomenon of self-sabotage can be so common for many different reasons.  Sometimes people self-implode because they're afraid of failure.  Sometimes it's because they're afraid of success.  It can happen if a person has low self-esteem.  Sometimes perfectionism plays into self-sabotage.  It could be, because of past experiences from childhood where a child had received negative messages from caregivers.  Cognitive dissonance, having a conflict between your personal belief and your actions, can lead to self-sabotaging behavior.  Sometimes, it's due to unconscious survival strategies.  There are just so, so many reasons why a person can consciously or unconsciously self-sabotage.   

Do you ever feel like you're a hamster stuck running on a wheel?  If you find that you have that feeling with some aspect of your life, or if you find yourself procrastinating on a task, you may be guilty of self-sabotage.  Do you engage in negative self-talk?  Frequently engaging in self-critical or pessimistic thoughts can undermine confidence and motivation.  If you avoid or "forget" responsibilities, even when they're crucial, it can be a sign of self-sabotage.

Self-sabotage can lead to career and academic setbacks.  It can strain important relationships.  It often exacerbates feelings of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.  The constant cycle of setting goals and failing to achieve them can lead to a sense of helplessness and self-doubt.  If you engage in self-destructive behaviors like comfort eating, substance abuse, or neglecting self-care it can cause serious physical health consequences too.  This is especially true for people suffering from chronic pain conditions such as Fibromyalgia.  Self-sabotage also leads to financial difficulties due to poor decision-making and lack of follow-through.  Overall, self-sabotage leads to a reduced quality of life.  It prevents you from reaching your full potential and enjoying a fulfilling and satisfying life.  It creates a vicious cycle of failure and disappointment that is difficult to break.  So there you are, still stuck running on that damn hamster wheel!

There are many strategies that you can use to overcome the self-sabotage cycle though.  You can build self-awareness by utilizing mindful meditation to become more aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment.  You can journal!  Write down your thoughts and experiences daily.  Then reflect on your actions and emotions to identify recurring themes and triggers.  Set aside time regularly to reflect on your goals, dreams, achievements, and areas for improvement.  Ask yourself questions like, 'What am I avoiding/" or "Why did I react that way?".  You also can seek constructive feedback from trusted friends, family, or colleagues.  They can provide insights into behaviors that you may not even notice yourself!

Cultivate self-compassion by treating yourself with kindness.  Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a friend!  When you make a mistake, remind yourself that it's OK to be imperfect.  Recognize common humanity within yourself.  Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, experiences difficulties and setbacks in life.  I think that's the biggest impact that was made within me during the filming of my episode of Dragnificent, on TLC.  There was an emotional moment of me telling a story that negatively impacted my life and self-esteem, and one of those beautiful Queens started crying.  Afterward, she and I had a conversation about how my story dredged up feelings for her, of her going through the exact same experience I had been describing.  My mind was literally exploding at that second!  I was thinking "What?!  Wait!  This beautiful, successful woman has had the exact same feelings and emotions that I've had?".  It was really a huge "Ah-Ha" moment for me.  When everything is cut & dried, no matter how rich or poor or successful or ...how stuck on a hamster wheel we are, we are ALL "just people" at the end of the day.  We all have the same feelings, emotions and fears.  We all want unconditional love and support and acceptance. We all have hopes & dreams. At that point in time, I started using a reference that I remind myself of a lot; "Every person, is a person".  It sounds simple, but really, it's not.  It's deep, yet it's so very true!  You always should try to be mindful of your negative thoughts and emotions, without letting them define you.  Practice deep breathing or gentle self-talk to soothe yourself.  You also can practice loving-kindness meditation.  Engage in meditations that focus on sending love and compassion to yourself and others.  You could also write a self-compassion letter to yourself or visualize a compassionate response to a challenging situation.

Are you ready to break free from your cocoon, and emerge like this beautiful butterfly?  If you're tired of getting in your own way and you're ready to achieve your goals with confidence, I'm here to help!  As a Certified Master Life Coach, I'm also a Confidence Coach, Goal-Setting Coach, and Meditation Facilitator & Coach.  I specialize in helping individuals overcome self-sabotage and unlock their full potential.  You can book a free consultation by DM'ing me on my The Fibro Frog FB Page

And lastly, what's the motto been all of these years on this blog?  -"Never Give Up HOPE.  Without HOPE, you don't have anything".  You ALL have HOPE, and you also have ME in your corner!  You are never, ever alone no matter what is happening in your life.  Please never forget that.  I'm an inclusive, non-judgmental Certified Master Life Coach, Master Mindset Coach, Health & Nutrition Coach, Emotional Intelligence Coach & more!

Insurance Coverage For Help With Chronic Pain

Hey, there Fellow Froggies!!  I'm excited to share with you all that yesterday I finally obtained my NPI number, so that I can bill insurance companies for my health & wellness services!  Does YOUR insurance have coverage for a health & wellness coach, life coach, or meditation facilitator/coach?!  I'll bet, that even if you're not aware of the coverage, that they will cover it.  Most do nowadays after research has proven how very beneficial these services are both physically and mentally for people!

There are SO many coaches out there that are charging high-ticket prices of $5,000-$10,000 a month for their services.  Some even more than that!!  I'm not out here looking for "high-ticket" clients.  I KNOW, firsthand, how hard it is to live trapped in a broken body that looks "fine" on the outside.  I know the mental and physical toll both, this plays on not only US but on our family and friends as well.

I also know how hard it can be to try to live financially when you or someone in your family is sick.  This is why I'm not looking for "high-ticket" clients. I'm looking to actually HELP people live a life with a little less pain and to be able to live life HAPPY!  -Get rid of the low self-esteem that living in a broken body causes many of us.  Help us to recognize that we ARE enough, just as we are.  I'm looking for family & friends that are healthy but has a loved one living in a broken body. I want to help them understand what WE go through on a daily basis and help them to accept the "new normal" that our lives become once we become sick.  

This is why it was so VERY IMPORTANT TO ME, to be able to accept health insurance!  Taking it a step further, it's also very important to me to be approved and provided a Medicaid billing number too.  I needed my application to be processed and approved, and be assigned my NPI billing number for regular health insurance and Medicare first though before I could apply for my Medicaid billing number.   Getting my Medicaid billing number will just be for OHIO Medicaid though at this time (and YES fellow Ohioans, Ohio Medicaid WILL cover a life coach or a health & wellness coach for you!!  At least CareSource will, and I've found if one covers something, most of the others do as well lol).  I've heard tell that as most things in government are concerned, especially Ohio State Government, this process takes quite a while.  I've heard it sometimes takes 3-5 months or even longer.  But at least now, I'm eligible to get the process rolling!

I'm definitely not out to try and take advantage of people, bankrupting them because they're desperate to find help. Insurance doesn't pay that well, and Medicaid pays basically pennies on the dollar!  I could have gone with the "high-ticket" client approach.  There are PLENTY of other coaches out there raking in over $1M a year with "high-ticket" clients.  Yes, I NEED to make a living to support myself, but I want to make my living, helping as many people as I possibly can get to the point I'm finally at 13yrs or so past my diagnosis.  I want to help as many people in general, whether they themselves live with chronic illness or not, live the happiest life they possibly can.  That my friends, means that my business plan doesn't go after the "high-ticket" clients.  It means I keep my prices fair and I accept insurance!!  

It's been really hard being single and sick, for me to get into the position to open this new business.  It's been slow going.  -$10 here, $500 there from the beginning to the endpoint.  Add in what has been going on with my poor Ma, and I am REALLY behind schedule due to financial reasons on fully launching my new career.  Having my application processed and approved, and being assigned my insurance billing number just made a giant leap in the process for me!  Hopefully within a few weeks now, I will have the money to build the website and fully, officially, launch this new business of mine!  That's where YOU ALL come in to play at!  I'll be offering an opportunity for YOU to make a little free cash once I launch this website!  So stay tuned for more info that will be coming soon!!

Like & follow my other social pages so you're ready to go & don't miss out on this opportunity!  Besides here you can find me on this blogs page on FB: @thefiibrofrog  On my self-branded FB page: @Amymullholand70  On IG: @amymullholand On Twitter (....or X I guess now lol): @Amymullholand70 and last but not least, on Pinterest: @jaammull

Remember to always educate and advocate any time you possibly can.  Most importantly remember: Never give up HOPE! -Without HOPE, you don't have anything!!

 

 

Addiction Vs Dependency In Chronic Pain Patients

 

Can Dependency Turn Into Addiction for Chronic Pain Patients?

The most viewed blog post I ever did was about how easy it is to become addicted to opiods, when one suffers from a chronic pain illness.  How my friend Brenda, who I met due to this blog of mine, was an addict and didn't reach out for help.  Unfortunately, Brenda's son walked into her home one day, to find her dead from an accidental overdose.  All Brenda was trying to do, was to find a little relief from the pain she suffered from 24/7, just like I do. Just like a whole lot of us do.  As a person who is in pain daily, I get the want for pain relief.  Even if it isn't totally gone, just a reduction in pain would be very welcomed most days.  Brenda wasn't trying to feel high, nor did she want to die.  She just wanted to live.  Which it's hard to truly live when you're faced with chronic pain 24hrs a day, 7 days a week.  Chronic pain can affect every aspect of life, from how you sleep to how you interact with people. For many people, managing this pain involves taking some form of medication. But, as with any medication, there’s the potential for dependency and even addiction. So what does this mean for chronic pain patients?  I'm not going super indepth with this blog post, but I want to make people aware of what the difference is, between dependency and addiction.  With chronic pain patients, it's a real thin line sometimes.

What is Dependency?

Dependency is when a person relies too heavily on a medication. They may need higher and higher doses to get the same effect or may develop a tolerance to the drug. Dependency can lead to addiction, but it’s important to note that the two are not the same. Addiction is more than just a reliance on a drug, it’s a compulsive behavior that can be hard to break.

Dependency is a serious concern for chronic pain patients. Many of the medications used to manage pain are highly addictive, and it’s easy to develop a dependency on them. Over time, this can lead to an addiction if the person is not careful.  This right here, is what happened to my beautiful Brenda and to many other chronic pain patients.

Risk Factors for Addiction in Chronic Pain Patients

There are certain risk factors for addiction in people with chronic pain. These include depression, anxiety, family history of addiction, a history of substance abuse, and a lack of support. People who are struggling with addiction are also more likely to develop a dependency on pain medications.

It’s important for chronic pain patients to be aware of these risk factors and talk to their doctor about them. Being open and honest about any concerns can help to prevent the development of an addiction. 

Signs of Addiction in Chronic Pain Patients

Chronic pain patients should be aware of the signs of addiction. These include cravings for the drug, an inability to stop taking it, and withdrawal symptoms when not taking it. Other signs include an increase in dosage or frequency of use, as well as an inability to control the amount taken. If you notice any of these signs, it’s important to talk to your doctor as soon as possible.

It’s also important to be aware of the signs of addiction in friends and family members. If someone you know is struggling with addiction, it’s important to get them help as soon as possible.  They may not even realize themselves that they've crossed that line from dependency to addiction so if you point out to them, their first reaction may not be accepting.  Please though, if you recognize concerning behaviors in someone you know or love, even if they're not receptive to you speaking up please speak up anyway and don't stop until they've been evaluated by a professional.  Their life very well may depend on this!

Preventing Addiction in Chronic Pain Patients

The best way to prevent addiction in chronic pain patients is to be aware of the risk factors and signs of addiction. It’s also important to talk to your doctor about any concerns and to follow their advice. If you’re prescribed a pain medication, be sure to take it as prescribed and to not increase the dosage without consulting your doctor. I know first hand how easy it is once you've built up tolerance to a drug to think "Oh I'll just take one more.  Just one more, will give me a little relief and let me get through this day".  Please, understand it doesn't work that way. Please don't ever take "just one more" without talking to your physician first.  

It’s also important to have a strong support system. Having friends and family to talk to can help to prevent addiction and to manage pain. Exercise and other activities can also help to manage pain in a healthy way.  There really are so many other things you can add into your daily routine, that by themselves alone or in conjunction with prescription meds, can help you cope with your daily pain and help to give you a quality of life back again.  Some of these things I had read about when I was newly diagnosed and thought "no way in HE!!" would that make my pain go away or help me at all.  Whelp, I truly was just uneducated.  I wanted that one magic little pill that I could swallow and it would cure me or at least make my life tolerable again.  I was looking at this stuff all wrong.  I had no idea how powerful of a tool, the mind truly is.  Once I finally stopped being a stubborn mule and gave alternative therapies a try, I knew this was the path I was supposed to take. Not only to help myself, but to be able to help others as well!  My entire life, I've always been that friend everyone would go to with their problems. I was always that friend, that would give the shirt off their back, to help someone else.  Obviously it should've been a no-brainer for me, that helping others with chronic illness is what I was supposed to do with my life.  I believe there's a "why' for everything.  I believe this is the answser to the "why me" question I asked a million times after my diagnosis.  I had to live it and experience it, so that I could help others.  

Dependency and addiction are serious concerns for chronic pain patients. It’s important for patients to be aware of the risk factors and signs of addiction, and to talk to their doctor about any concerns. If you're timid about talking to your doctor straight off, talk to a friend.  If you're timid about talking to a friend about your concerns, call a hotline where they don't know you.  Just make sure you reach out to someone! -Anyone!  Taking the medication as prescribed and having a strong support system can help to prevent addiction and manage pain in a healthy way.

This is a photo of my beautiful Brenda.  Oh how my heart still hurts, losing her.

I'm going to leave you all with the link to my original post about the dangers of taking prescription pain killers.  The story of my poor friend, Brendam, and how she didn't want to die.  You can access that original post by CLICKING HERE

No matter what you're going through, or whatever you're facing what's the  motto here?  Never Give Up HOPE.  Because without HOPE, you don't have anything!  I'm sending gentle butterfly hugs to all of you! -Remember you can reach out to ME via a comment on this blog, On IG, Twitter, this blog's FB Page, Pinterest, or on my Professional FB Page

Let's work together to build a better you!! 

Did You Know That Fibromyalgia Weakens The Immune System?

How Fibromyalgia Weakens the Immune System

If you have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, you know that the pain and fatigue associated with the condition can be overwhelming. However, did you know that Fibromyalgia can also weaken your immune system, leaving you more vulnerable to illnesses and infections? In this blog post, we'll explore how Fibromyalgia impacts your immune system and what you can do to protect yourself.

What is Fibromyalgia?

Most of you reading this, already know what Fibromyalgia is.  Most of you that's reading this, live with fibro.  For those that are new to the word, or new to the diagnosis though, I'm going to add just a few little facts.  

Fibromyalgia is a disorder that causes chronic pain and fatigue. It is estimated that about 10 million people in the United States are living with Fibromyalgia, the majority of them being women. Fibromyalgia is often associated with depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues. It is also linked to sleep disturbances .....oh, don't even get me started on THAT little comorbidity of fibro.  It's my biggest monster that I face with my fibro lol .... headaches, cognitive memory delays (commonly referrred to as "fibro fog") and other physical problems.

Fibromyalgia is a complex condition, and the exact cause is unknown. It is thought to be related to a misfiring of the central nervous system, which can lead to heightened sensitivity to pain, fatigue, and other symptoms.  All of the "unknowns" about Fibromyalgia, is what pushes me to read, research, and ADVOCATE for more research.  WE deserve answers.  WE deserve a cure.  WE deserve at the very least, a concrete universal treatment plan, that works for everyone!  

Now that we have that all out of the way, let's move on and talk about Fibro and the immune system.  

How Fibromyalgia Affects the Immune System

Fibromyalgia can weaken your immune system in several ways. One is that it can lead to an imbalance in the body's hormones, which can cause a weakened immune system. Additionally, people with Fibromyalgia often experience depression, anxiety, and stress, which can further weaken the immune system. Finally, the chronic fatigue associated with Fibromyalgia can make it difficult to get enough sleep, which is essential for a healthy immune system.

This weakened immune system can leave people with Fibromyalgia more vulnerable to illnesses and infections. People with Fibromyalgia may find themselves coming down with colds and other illnesses more often than other people and may also find that their symptoms last longer.

What You Can Do to Protect Yourself

While Fibromyalgia can weaken your immune system, there are steps you can take to protect yourself. First and foremost, it's important to get enough sleep. This can be difficult for people with Fibromyalgia, but try to stick to a regular sleep schedule and make sure you're getting at least seven to eight hours of sleep each night. It's also important to eat a healthy, balanced diet and get regular exercise.

In addition, there are some supplements that may help to boost your immunity, such as Vitamin C, Vitamin D, and probiotics. Finally, if your doctor recommends it, you may want to consider taking an immune-boosting medication to help protect your body from illnesses and infections.

Takeaway

Fibromyalgia can weaken your immune system, leaving you more vulnerable to illnesses and infections. However, there are steps you can take to protect yourself, such as getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, getting regular exercise, and taking immune-boosting supplements. With the right care and self-management, you can help keep your immune system strong and protect yourself from illnesses.

It's been a long 12 years for me since I was first diagnosed, and I can still clearly remember how scared I was.  Then how sad I was.  Then how angry I was.  I can almost even still "feel" my heart racing not understanding how I could have something there wasn't a cure for.  Something that they didn't even have a solid treatment plan for, that works for everyone!  Allowing myself to still "feel" what I felt in those first few days, weeks, hours, is what still pushes me forward for all of us.  People shouldn't have to feel that way.  To this day, not enough people (medical professionals included here, for sure!) really know what Fibromyalgia is, or how it truly affects those of us that live with it.  We need to do better, to educate more people on it.

Conclusion

I had to take a break from blogging for a few years, to work on myself.  Those of you who've been around here for years, know a lot of what I've been through.  Finally, after being separated 12 years now, I should be a divorced woman!  I'm just waiting on a judges signature and the final order to arrive by certified mail!  For those of you new to TFF, yes I had a scumbag for a husband who used my diagnosis as an excuse to walk out saying that he couldn't deal with the stress that MY lifetime illness would cause him.  

My marriage ending though, was truly just the beginning of my life.  I just didn't know it at the time.  At the time, I was completely devestated.  Every single thing I've accomplished since then though, I never would have done had my marriage stayed intact.  I started pouring my entire soul into research of Fibromyalgia and writing about it.  I went to a vocational school and became a Nationally Certified Clinical Medical Assistant. I've been a contributing author to many online health magazines, and articles for the National Fibromyalgia Association.  I was interviewed by CNN and Everyday Health's Dr. Sanjay Gupta and a few articles were published as a result.  The issue of Teen Vogue that talked about Lady Gaga having Fibro, contains a quote from me within the article.  Healthline awarded me many years straight, as a top Fibromyalgia blogger.  I had a full RNY Gastric Bypass and lost well over 100 pounds. I've had my gallbladder removed, a hernia repair, and exploratory surgery. I had a breast reduction and lift to get rid of the extra skin from the weight loss.  I was on a television show on TLC.  Most of all though, I learned through rediscovering myself, that my purpose in this life is to help others.  Just like I had been through blogging.  I gained my self-esteem back after decades of mental abuse.

Through these past 12 years of reading and researching and talking to medical professionals I learned a lot.  I learned a lot of natural (meaning non-medication) ways to help myself deal with the pain and sicknesses I have.  Discovering my true life passion of wanting to help others, I've taken a lot of certification courses so that I can start helping others learn to take control of their lives back again,too.  I can only do so much, with just writing blog posts. I yearned to do more.  To be a bigger asset to those not only within the chronic pain/chronic fatigue community, but also within the LGBTQIA+ community.  I myself am heterosexual, but I have so SO many friends that are within the LGBTQIA+ community.  I have a "kid" (he was my youngest daughters BFF) that is homosexual, that I truly consider a son of mine.  -It doesn't take blood to make family, folks!  I've found that many homosexual and transgender people have sought me out, needing to talk.  Some needing assurance that it's OKAY to be themselves.  Some needing a little help with coming out.  Some, deal with chronic pain/chronic fatigue illnessess too, just like I do!  I have had so many people regardless of family style, age, sexual orientation, etc reach out to me asking for advice & help navigating this thing called life. 

So the certifications I've gained, and the techniques I've learned, are beneficial to just about anyone out there!  Daily, I use a combination of the techniques I've learned, to help me cope with my chronic pain and fatigue.  My stress and anxiety.  My self-esteem issues, and road rage haha! I really don't know how I lived without them. In all honesty, I wasn't living. I was pretty much stuck in the "flight or fight" mode all day every day. I was scared. I was in horrible pain.  I was angry and resentful.  I'm here today to tell you though, that I TOOK MY LIFE BACK!!  I'm here to help YOU take your life back, too!  You CAN do it!  

I'm currently accepting new clients, and all sessions are via Zoom.  I'm a certified meditation facilitator & coach, NLP Practioner, Emotional Intelligence Coach, LGBTQIA+ Ally & Coming Out Specialist, and Master Life Coach!  -I'm telling you all, combinations of all of these practices along with CBT has given me control over my life again.  Let me help YOU gain control of your life back too!

Contact me here through the blog, on FB at: My Facebook Page

On My Twitter Page

Or on My IG Page 

You can find a variety of pin boards, loads of recipes I used post-gastric bypass, inspirational quotes, etc on my Pinterest Page

As always, Never give up HOPE, because without HOPE you don't have anything! -And remember YOUR HAPPINESS MATTERS!! -Let's work together to build a better, happier, and healthier YOU!