2013 - The Year Of HOPE

On one hand, it seems as if 2012 lasted a decade.  On the other hand, I just can't believe that it's 2013 already.  I know, that doesn't make much sense, does it?  2012 brought some hard knocks for me.  One's that I never thought I could pull myself out of.  I caught myself saying over and over "Gosh I wish this year would just hurry up and get over.  I want to wipe 2012 away and never look back on it".  But you know what?  As bad, ...and trust me, it's been bad, of a year as it was, I still have things I'm thankful for.  If not for having a second opinion from The Cleveland Clinic, I wouldn't have started The Fibro Frog.  Of course if I wasn't sick, I never would've had that appointment, to start this blog either so I have to also be grateful that I'm sick.  That just sounds completely crazy, doesn't it?  Really, it isn't though.  This blog (and corresponding facebook page) has lifted my self-esteem more notches then I ever thought possible.  The feedback I've received about the blog and facebook page, has brought me joy and peace.  Being told "Thank you", and words such as I've helped them out of a dark place, that I've inspired them to keep going, etc. has just meant the world to me.  If not for all of this ....the sickness, the doctors, the pain, the blog, the facebook page, I wouldn't have met so, so, many wonderful people.  People that even though I've never met in person, have stood beside me.  Held my hand.  Picked me up when I've needed it.  I've had some ladies that I've been "friends" with for around 10 years now.  We met on another internet site, and continued our friendship on facebook.  In my darkest hours, when I've felt completely defeated and felt like giving up on everything this past year, they've held me, pushed me, and motivated me. When I fell down this past year, they'd pull me right back up.

When I first started The Fibro Frog, I was doing so much researching.  Spending hours a day looking up information, reading, and studying anything I could get my hands on (or eyes on in this computer world I guess lol) .  The more I researched, and the more I read, the more disgusted I became about the minimal research that's been done on not just Fibromyalgia, but on chronic pain illnesses in general.  It didn't take me long to realize that advocating for more research in these areas, to educate others who do not live with the day to day pain that I, and millions of others, live with was my new passion.  I told my husband, that I wanted to slowly put together a seminar on living with chronic pain.  I told him not only did I want to gear the seminar to those who have a chronic pain condition, but I also felt it very important for them to bring their family and friends too.  I had already realized myself, that it's almost impossible to make others really understand what it's like for us to live just one day with the pain we have.  Any help I can give to a fellow Fibromite to help their family understand, is well worth the effort. This seminar was to provide not only tips, tricks, common treatment plans, ways to help you communicate with your friends and family about what it's really like to have a chronic pain or a chronic pain and fatigue illness, but it also was to speak directly to those non-sufferers that's sitting in the audience too.  To give them a glance at what it's really like for "us".  That their loved one wasn't just lazy, ..wasn't just crazy.  I told my husband that I'd give anything to be able to have every doctor and every nurse in the entire U.S. sitting in that audience too, because so many of them treat those of us with a debilitating illness like we're liars.  Pain pill seekers.  Dirt. Trash. Like we're so beneath them.  Sound harsh?  -It's not as harsh as when someone you're going to in the medical profession,  asking for help ...begging  for help in some cases, makes you feel this way.  Long story short?  He looked at me, rolled his eyes and made a snorting sound, then turned and walked away from me to go watch tv.  I can't tell you how much that stung.  Another time that just drilled it in even deeper to build the seminar was when he said something to the effect of "when your meds start working".  I sat there and looked at him.  I said "You DO know that the medicine isn't a cure right? There isn't any cure for what I have." -Now keep in mind that he had been with me to every single doctor appointment that I had been to.  His response?  He said "There isn't a cure?  I thought if you took the medicine that you'd be fine."  I couldn't believe it.  It really stung to know he'd been to every appointment with me and obviously hadn't cared enough to even listen to what two different doctors had told me.

Two months later, he walked out walked out on me and wanted a divorce, completely out of the blue.  The number one reason he cited for leaving me was "I'm too stressed out about your health.  I just can't take it anymore".  I'll bet you all can imagine how much that hurt me.  I'd been with him for 20 years.  Back in my 20's and early 30's I'd worked my butt off.  I worked 3 part time jobs.  Another time I worked one full time job and 2 part time jobs ...all while carrying 18-20 hours in nursing school and raising four children.  Unfortunately though, I hadn't worked in years due to my health.  My husband was my only income.  When he left, so did my income. I knew I had to start working on putting the chronic pain seminar together way quicker (In fact, at least a year quicker) then I'd originally planned.  There is just no way that I can work a "typical" job with my health the way it is.  I started diving head first into education and advocacy.  Hence, "Living With Chronic Pain - A Patient's View" was born.  Not without a lot of nudging and encouragement from the wonderful people that's in my life though. I feel so lucky, ...so honored, to have "met" all of the wonderful Fibromites that I've encountered along my journey with facebook and The Fibro Frog.  I've decided, that as bad as 2013 was for me, that it also gave me a lot of blessings.  Therefore, I can't just push it behind me and forget about it. In the last few days, I'd even feel guilty when I'd catch myself thinking about how "awful" 2012 was and how I couldn't wait to move on to 2013.  

Now that 2013 is here, I'm jumping in feet first.  I'm embracing 2013 as the year of HOPE.  Hope that there will be more research.  Hope that a cure may be found.  Hope that a treatment plan that actually works universally will come to light.  Hope that I can educate and advocate to help others. Hope that I'll be able to launch a new career while helping others.  Hope to make even more new fibro friends ...or friends who suffer from any chronic pain and/or fatigue condition.  I hope to make a difference not only in my life in 2013, but also into the lives of others.  I'll be posting one motivational quote a day, to help keep me on track and  show me that there's hope.  There is ALWAYS hope in every situation in life.  Without hope, what do we have? We might as well lay down, curl up, and wait for death to overcome us.

I can't tell you the amount of people who has told me that they'd love to attend one of my seminars.  I've had people tell me that if I booked anywhere within their state, that they'd drive to be present.  Funding has been a big problem for me, to go and present the seminar.  After a lot of thinking and consideration, I've decided to turn "Living With Chronic Pain - A Patient's View" into a Webinar.  Solves the problems of needing a lot of cash for advertising, travel expenses, and conference room rental, and the amount of people I could reach this way is limitless.  Anyone who wants to attend will be able to do so, right from the comfort of their home. For the first few webinar's that I conduct, I'm only going to take five people per session.  The webinar will last approximately 2 hrs, give or take depending on how many questions we get.  In such a small group, I'm not anticipating so many questions that we'd go over a 2hr time slot, but you never know I guess lol.  

Saturday January 12th is the date for the first webinar.  I'm going to run three sessions that day.  I'll have one  from 3-5pm EST, one from 7-9pm EST, and the last one will be 11pm-1am EST.  I'm also offering two session on Sunday January 13th.  The time slots for those are: 3-5pm and 7-9pm, both time slots are EST.  

I'm also offering a fun special to kick the webinar off with!  On the registration form I have a spot asking who referred you.  For every person that signs up, pays for their spot, and lists your name in the referral spot of the sign up form, you'll get one entry into a drawing to get your seminar FREE. If you've already paid me for your spot, then I will reimburse you for your fee.  I'll take referrals up to noon EST on Saturday January 12th.  So what are you waiting for?  Sign up and share the link with your family and friends!  To sign up and to get the URL to share, just click HERE!

Just remember, 2013 is the year of HOPE.  For all of us.  You never know, this could be the  year that scientists get a break and figure out a cure for our pain, insomnia, and memory problems.  I'm wishing all of you a happy, healthy, hopeful new year.  Sending a gently butterfly hug out to all of you!

I'm A Real Person, With Real Illnesses And I Extend A Challenge To You

As I opened my eyes this morning, I could tell that it was going to be an "off" day.  The feeling that I was awakening after being hit by a Mack truck wouldn't shake.  Last night, everything hurt from my head down to my big toe.  You're probably asking yourself "her big TOE hurt?!".  Yep, even my big toe hurt as silly as that sounds.  

Today, my head hurts and my nose is stuffy.  Ultimately, since I get sick if I even pass someone in a grocery store that sneezes or coughs, I'm sure I'm coming down with a cold.  I feel sad and depressed today.  I just get so tired or never feeling good.  I'm sick and tired, of being sick and tired.  

Feelings of guilt keep me from posting a lot of the time when I don't feel good.  My oldest daughter who's 23 and a graduate student in both developmental and international economics at the University of Denver, gently reminds me every now and then, that I need to conduct myself as a professional.  She knows my hopes and dreams of presenting my seminar and being a speaker at conventions.  She knows that I'm passionate about activism and research to find a treatment plan or a cure.  If I want to be booked as a professional, then I need to act professional right?  Professionals don't go online and complain about their every day mundane aches and pains.

Nikki is one of the toughest people I've ever known.  I'm not just saying that because she's my daughter.  If you met her now, you'd never have a clue what she's been through to get to where she's at.  The amount of tenacity that this young lady possesses is unreal.  Coming from an extremely modest background, ok I'll be completely honest: a poor background, she got a job at 16 years old and has never been without one since.  Sometimes more then one job, all while going to school.  Both high school and college.  She's paid her own way all through college while carrying an insane amount of full-time college credits and still making all A's.  I haven't paid for so much as one single book, let alone anything else she's needed.  Not because I didn't want to, but because I haven't been able to afford to. Researching and finding the best college for what she wanted to do with her life, she switched from living at home and attending our local college of Bowling Green State University, to packing up and jumping on a plane to start a new life in Denver, CO.  She switched after her sophomore year.  She made new friends, found new jobs, and met new people.  Nikki has met some of the most influential people that we have in the U.S.  She's been to grand benefits where she's met and spoke with people such as the founder of AOL, among many others.  She doesn't complain about anything.  She knows what she needs to do, and she gets it done.  Sometimes putting in 14-16 hour days or more, without complaint.

You're probably asking yourself right about now, why I just told you all of this about my daughter.  What does it have to do with me feeling like total poo today?  Well, it has a lot to do with it.  If Nichole says that I need to conduct myself in a professional manner, then I tend to believe her.  I feel guilty complaining because for one, it isn't professional.  For two, how can I complain when she works so very hard, supports herself while attending an expensive college, and she never complains?  Sick or not, she goes to classes and completes her jobs. 

A very old friend that I think a lot of, sent me a facebook message this morning.  He simply said "I feel that sometimes you're too hard on yourself.  Give yourself a break".  You know what?  He's right.  I am too hard on myself sometimes.  Thoughts about these two sentences, have plagued me all day.  Sure, no one wants to hear someone gripe and complain constantly, but if I really feel terrible, then it's ok to admit that.  As much as I want to be a professional, I'm not at this time.  Even if I achieve my dreams and have seminars scheduled every weekend of every month it still will come down to this: A public speaker or not, I'm a human being first.  A real person.  Unfortunately, a real person who has real illnesses.  Illnesses in which there isn't a cure, and not even solid treatment plans that will help.  Illnesses that cause depression. Illnesses like some of you, deal with every day too.

If you're reading this blog entry and you don't suffer from a neuro-immune disorder, or you don't suffer from an auto-immune disorder like I do, then you're probably not going to be able to fully comprehend what it's like to be stuck in a body that's always sick or to have a mind where you'll be right in the middle of speaking, and forget what you were trying to say or even what you were thinking about.  

One of the best analogies I've read, is in a pamphlet put out by the American Rheumatology Association.  It compares Fibromyalgia to having the flu.  Think back to the last time you had the flu.  Do you remember how tired and physically drained you were?  Do you remember how sore your skin was?  How about the sore, aching muscles?  Sometimes when you'd move, you'd get sharp pains.  Your head hurt, even your hair sometimes felt like it was hurting.  Take all of that and add in joints that swell and hurt to the point that you have trouble standing up from a seated position and hurts enough that you audibly say "ow" most every time you go to rise. Although my illnesses doesn't make you run a high fever like you do with the flu, you do run frequent low-grade fevers.  Now, I seriously want you to think about everything in this paragraph.  Then, I'd like to you think about the fact that you're going to have to live every day of your life feeling like this.   Do you know what the leading cause of death among fibromyalgia patients is?  It's suicide.  Women with fibromyalgia have a ten times higher rate of suicide then the general public.  These are people who didn't have any kind of mental health problems before contracting fibromyalgia.  Women with fibromyalgia also have a higher death rate from liver disease and stroke, then women without fibromyalgia.  There hasn't been enough concentrated research though, to find out why women with fibromyalgia have a higher death rate from liver disease and stroke so the correlation to fibromyalgia hasn't been figured out yet. Just one of the many reasons more research is needed.  If you're interested in reading about the study that was conducted to bring about these statements, you can click HERE.

If you'd like to hear a speaker that suffers every day like you do, and "get's it" then contact me and we'll talk.  I'm not a doctor, nor a researcher; I don't have any fancy initials of any kind behind my name.  What I do have though, is first hand experience and knowledge about what people like me, people like us, go through on a daily basis, just to survive.  This seminar will help those who suffer, to see they aren't alone.  It gives some survival tips and lists resources.  It also gives the person suffering the ability to help those around them, to understand what it's like to be sick like this and help them understand.  For those who attend that doesn't suffer, they'll be offered the proof to help dispel untrue myths about these illnesses.  It will provide information on recent studies.  It'll help them to be aware and hopefully instill some compassion in them, for those who suffer.  It also talks about how little research there is, and how important future research is, and why it's so important. Whether a sufferer or a community member; a lawmaker or in the medical field, this seminar will help you to understand the truth of these illnesses that cause fatigue and chronic pain. 

If you think about the paragraph previously stated, giving the analogy of having the flu every day for the rest of your life, hopefully you'll understand how important this seminar is.  How important future research is, for those of us who suffer.  If you have the understanding and compassion, I'm extending a challenge to you this holiday season.  I challenge you to give up a specialty coffee or two each week, and instead donate that money to my fundraiser.  Help me to help not only myself, but all of the others that also are living their lives one day at a time to make it through.  You can make a secure donation, on my GoFundMe page.  The link to it is on the right hand sidebar of my blog, but I'll also list a link to it as well: Donation Page.

Support Those With Chronic Pain Illnesses

Don't forget that I have a fundraising event going on through November 24th.  The sell of the key chains will help fund my seminar Living With Chronic Pain - A Patients View.  Let's help out our fellow chronic pain sufferers by ordering a key chain and sharing the event through your social media sites.  The seminar isn't just for people with fibromyalgia, it's for anyone who suffers from any sort of chronic pain illness.  It gives the sufferer tips and advice, along with ideas on how to make their family and friends, and community, understand what it's truly like to live their lives in pain every day.  It dispels myths, gives statistics, lists resources, and addresses family and community that doesn't understand what we go through.  This seminar is really geared towards not only the sufferer, but also to people who do not suffer.  It's an overall well-rounded seminar that's beneficial for anyone, whoever they may be.  Also, a person doesn't have to be a chronic pain sufferer to order a key chain.  By ordering one, you're showing support for those of us who do, and helping to bring about awareness by using your key chain.  You'll find the fundraiser on facebook as a public event.  Please check it out, and share it!  To access the fundraiser, click HERE.  Thanks for your support, there's approximately 116 MILLION people who suffer from some sort of chronic pain illness in the U.S. that thank you!

$1 Challenge

Ok everyone, I'm pushing a $1 Challenge until my birthday, November 18th, in hopes that I have enough in donations by then to rent at least ONE conference room and pay for the advertising to hold at least one chronic pain seminar! That's all I want for my birthday ...to be able to educate and advocate for those of us who live with chronic pain and/or invisible illness. Even if you yourself can't donate $1, would you please share the link on your social media sites for others to see? If you're a blogger, would you extend this challenge to your readers? It isn't about the amount of the donation, it's about the volume of donations. If enough people see it and donate even $1, then it will add up quickly! Here's the link: 
GoFundMe Donation Page Please help me to help all of us!  Clicking the butterfly will also take you to the donation page!

HomeMade Broccoli, Rice, and Cheese Casserole

This is a recipe that my mom passed down to me, and my oldest son and youngest daughter both love it more then anything! On their birthday, I always make the kids whatever they want for supper.  Today is my Courtney's birthday!  My "baby" is 17 already! Every chance she gets to beg for my Broccoli, Rice, & Cheese casserole she does! So, this was part of our supper tonight.  This photo is before I popped it into the oven!

Shhhh.....don't tell anyone but I'm going to spill my "secret" recipe with you, just because I feel that all of you here on The Fibro Frog are my family!  

1c. thinly sliced celery

1c. diced onion

2 boxes frozen Freshlike brand cut, chopped broccoli (Freshlike brand is the only one around here that sells the cut/chopped broccoli)

1lrg. can cream of mushroom soup

4c. shredded mild cheddar cheese

2.5c. instant rice (uncooked)

Enough butter melted in a skillet to saute the onion and celery.  

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Saute the onions and celery until tender.  Open broccoli and put it in a strainer.  Run under hot water to thaw the broccoli.  Add it to the sauteed onions and celery.  Add the cream of mushroom soup, rice, and cheese.  Keep stirring until cheese is completely melted.  Make sure you have all of the rice completely mixed in and covered by the soup and cheese.  Put into a 13x9 baking pan and bake for approximately 45 minutes.  It will be a nice golden brown color when finished. For some reason the coloring in my photo is off.  It really isn't as brown as it looks in this photo.  I hope you all enjoy this recipe as much as we do!

The Never Ending Day

I always hear people complain about Monday being a bad day.  I guess that I'm just not "normal" in any regard, because my Monday went perfectly well (aside from being in a ton of pain from pushing myself last Thur-Sun).  Instead today, Thursday, was like a Monday for me.  As usual, my insomnia has been horrible.  I didn't fall asleep until sometime after 3am last night this morning.  My daughter home schools online through our school district and on Tues and Thurs she goes into the building and does her online lessons in the library that way if she needs any help from a teacher, she has quick easy access to one.  She's a senior this year. She woke me up at 7:10am this morning by coming into my room saying "Mom!  Wake up!  Sasha was starting to throw up so I hurried and got her outside and hooked her to the chain but she just laid down on her side and white foamy vomit is coming out of her mouth!  Is she dying?".  I dutifully get out of bed exclaiming that I don't know if she's dying or not.  Walk outside to see her standing there perfectly fine, wagging her tail at me.  -Oh Sasha is my baby, I mean, my puppy that my parents got me after my husband walked out on us.  I laughed at them and asked "Consolation prize?" lol.  Anyway, I brought her back in and flopped myself down into my computer chair.  I was so tired that my vision was blurry and my head was killing me.  Daughter exclaims that she has to leave for the bus stop (2 houses down from us).  

Five minutes after she left, I hear her coming back onto the front porch.  She came inside and said that our neighbor lady is sitting on the porch and told her that she'd missed the bus.  I wanted to choke call the bus garage to ask them why in the world the bus came 20 minutes earlier then they'd told us it would be here.  I just honestly didn't have the strength to deal with calling anyone and complaining though.

My daughter got a ride to school, and by this time I know there's no way in heck that I'm going to get back to sleep.  My insomnia is honestly horrible!  No matter how tired I am, I just toss and turn and my body starts hurting until I just give up and crawl out of bed.  There wasn't any use in trying, so instead I drag myself walk to the kitchen needing to make coffee.  Now, my Keurig Platinum Edition had broke on me like 3 weeks after my husband walked out of our lives.  Oh how I coveted liked that Keurig.  After "hubby" leaving me out of the blue and not paying me any support, a new coffee maker just wasn't in the budget.  A lovely, caring friend bought me a Mr. Coffee machine.  I threw a coffee filter in, filled it with coffee, quickly measured the water and poured it in, and hit that power button.  I grabbed a coffee cup, threw in some sugar, a little milk, then I stood there looking at the machine begging and pleading for it to hurry up and make enough coffee to use the "sneak a cup" feature and get my first cup of java.  Thankfully after what seemed like a thousand years I was able to pour a cup.  

I made my way back into the dining room and flopped down in my computer chair again.  -More like slowly sat down saying some curse words "ow oww oww's" under my breath.  I stepped in a broken outlet box of some kind in the lobby floor at Fort Rapids on Sunday.  It twisted my knee and it's just completely done right now.  Standing up, sitting down, walking down steps (one stair at a time like a 2 year old would) is causing me immense pain.  I get sat down, savor the aroma of the coffee as I'm bringing the cup to my ever waiting lips, and sigh as I'm taking a sip of the wonderful smelling, very needed, anxiously awaited coffee.  I swallow then think "what the?!"!  I take my finger and wipe my tongue.  Guess what I wiped off of it?  Yep, coffee grounds.  Really??  That's the thing I dislike the most about standard coffee makers.  If you don't get the filter in there just perfectly, you end up drinking coffee grounds.  Such a mean, cruel joke to my blurry eyed, head throbbing, self.  

After fixing the coffee situation, I sit down again in my computer chair.  This time I'm praying determined that I won't let all of this ruin my day.  I even posted about my morning on my personal facebook status and remained doubtful hopeful that the day would have to get better, it certainly couldn't get worse.  Besides, if I posted it on facebook then it had to be true that it'd get better, because it was "facebook official".  Did you know that if something is posted on facebook, then it has to be right?  My daughter and her friends had taught me that.  I thought I was being a totally hip and cool mom good mom by remembering this and posting it to help my day.

Well, let me tell ya ....apparently that bs saying about something having to be true because it's "facebook official" was nothing but a big lie.  Imagine me forcing a smile smiling, determined that my entire day wasn't going to be ruined by lack of sleep and problems from the morning, walking into my bedroom.  I stop, flip on my light and Holy Mother I gasped right out loud.  My bed, my floor, my ROOM was covered in this whitish/green fluffy material.  I unbelievably frantically start scanning my room.  As my eyes (that made my head hurt worse to move them) reached the top left corner of my bed, I almost started screaming crying.  The corner of my sheet had come off my bed. My four month old memory foam bed.  That I wanted for the last year.  That is the ONLY thing that keeps me from waking up with unrelentless pain.  That I'm still paying on when I don't even have ANY income.  Has a big sized HOLE in it!  I'm standing there horrified and look down to see that stupid "poor, sick puppy" that started this whole mess of a day, proudly looking up at me and wagging her tail.   I tried to regain my composure, as rage filled me.  I seriously didn't know whether to cry, choke scold the dog, or just throw myself down while kicking my feet, pounding my fists, and screaming at the top of my lungs!

After calming myself down a bit, I reasoned that it was partly my fault too, because my bed has a mattress cover that zips around the entire thing and I didn't have it on there.  I had washed it a few days ago and it seriously takes three of us to take it off or put it on.  Therefore, I had it laying on top of my dresser.  I decided on the spot that neither of my dogs are EVER allowed in my room again!  I don't have a real door on my bedroom though.  I have one of those cheap accordian doors on it that you can buy at Home Depot or Lowe's.  The dogs just bash it with their heads, and into the room they go.  I had a cut piece of plywood that comes up to about my knee level (too high for them to jump over it) so I've now blocked off my doorway with that, until I can find the money to buy real door to keep shut!

As I sat here watching the clock waiting on my daughter to get home from school, I decided that there was no way in the world that I was even going to attempt to make a dinner tonight.  She walked in from school and I looked at her with a wild look about me smile and calmly stated that we were going to Burger King for supper tonight and not to argue about it or say a word.  Just to smile, nod, eat, enjoy, laugh, and have a good time with it.  

So, I've decided that tomorrow will be a better day and this time I'm not making it "facebook official".  I'm making it "The Fibro Frog official" instead!  =)  Right now, it's 12:07am and here I still sit.  Still feeling like a slug.  Still in pain.  Still tired.  Still dealing with insomnia.  Tomorrow today though, I'm NOT getting out of bed at 7:10am for ANYTHING!  I shall sleep what I can, and the world will wait for me.  If not?  That's ok too!

Oh!  -That photo above?  Yeah, that is not my mattress, nor my house, nor my photo.  You want to know why?  Because I didn't have enough wits about me when it happened to take a photo of my own mattress.  Had I done that though, I have to say that my photo would be the ONLY photo of a monster  dog chewed memory foam mattress on ALL of Google Images (where I obtained the photo above).  You know what that would mean?  I could've been famous!  I could've had one of those silly photo's with a caption on it that says something dumb silly to make every person and their brother on facebook laugh, "share" and "like" it.  -And that my friends, would have really made it "facebook official".  Yep, honestly, not one other person has ever uploaded a picture of a hole chewed into a memory foam mattress, by a small, 5 pound 1/2 Jack Russell Terrier and 1/2 Pomeranian mixed puppy.  It would've OFFICIALLY been a first.  I missed my calling for fame in my despair.  ;)

Quality VS Quantity Of Life

Last night, I went with my kids and their friends to the little village that's 5 miles away from us.  They have a little one day festival type thing, then end the night with fireworks.  Since I wasn't able to watch fireworks on the 4th of July, I was excited to go.

Every year I take photos of the fireworks but this year, I decided to try and video them too.  My camera is a Canon T3i and it's supposed to have professional quality HD video built in.  I'd never tried using it before though, so I was fumbling around in the dark trying to figure it out lol.  I couldn't believe though, how much it hurt me to video it.  I had to tape a little, then shut the video off, then tape a little.  A minute or so into the third taping, I had to ask my daughter to take it.  I was left with horrible neck, shoulder and arm pain, and it put a charley horse in the middle of my back.  Even with the first taping I did, I missed having it centered and getting it all in, due to the pain it was causing me to hold the camera up aimed at the sky.

I was going to upload the first clip, to show how shaky I was trying to video right from the beginning, but for some reason I couldn't get it to upload to blogger.  It keeps telling me there was a problem uploading the video, but it doesn't tell me what the problem is lol. I will insert some photos of fireworks instead I guess.  I had taken some before I got the idea to try and use my video for the first time.

We all know that doing simple household tasks can be hard or even not doable at all sometimes, but it's the simple, little things, like trying to shoot a video with a camera that always throws me for a loop.  Things that people take for granted and don't even think about.  I never would've guessed how much it would hurt me to take a video.  My neck and arms still hurt this afternoon from it.  

This is no way to have to live.  Fibromyalgia (or insert Lupus, Arthritis, CFS/ME, etc) may not be fatal, but it sure stills your quality of life.  I've always believed that quality is better then quantity, and that holds true in my health and my life.  Not being able to bend over and pick something up from the floor, or run a sweeper. Being in tears after fixing a meal...sometimes in tears after just frying an egg, having to take breaks to unload and reload a dishwasher....  I could go on and on.  That's not quality, that's quantity.  I have a friend that wants my daughter, her boyfriend, and I to go to the zoo with him.  He told me to pick a day that I wouldn't be in a lot of pain.  I rolled my eyes and told my daughter and her boyfriend that this friend of mine needs to be the first one signing up for my seminar to learn the truth about living with chronic pain.  Oh how I wish I could know what day would be better then another for pain.  Unfortunately, it just doesn't work that way.  

I'm asking again, for you all to please share this blog with your friends and family.  If you're a blogger yourself, please share this blog with your readers.  It's so very important to me, to educate people about life with an invisible illness that causes chronic pain.  Unless you live with it yourself, it's really hard to grasp what life is like, living this way.  Someone once said to me "At least you don't have cancer.  That could kill you and with this you won't die.".  I paused, then responded with "You're right.  It won't kill me.  Have you thought about the fact though, that people with cancer have hope?  There are solid treatment plans mapped out for all types of cancer.  A person with cancer, has hope of one day being cured.  They have hope of their pain and sickness ending.  Even if they do die, at least they aren't living for years and years in sickness and in pain.  One way or another, their pain ends.  I don't have that hope.  I know that I will have to live every day of my life hurting and sick.  If the quality of my life is going to be so limited and so painful, then do I really want to live until I'm 70? 80? 90 years old?".  I also went on to say that I know what a horrible beast cancer is, and my heart breaks for those that have to go through cancer.  Please don't think I'm an insensitive jerk because I'm not.  In fact, had I finished nursing school, I wanted to work in pediatric oncology.  This is just a way to get people to stop and think about what invisible illness and chronic pain sufferers go through.   I'm really hoping for a packed house for my seminar, because people really need to understand and learn.  They really need to stop and think.  Again, please share this site or my facebook page, and the flyer for my seminar.  I thank you all in advance!

Seminar Excitement!

Things are moving right along for my first chronic pain seminar.  A caring friend made this flyer for me last night.  I love it!  What do you all think of it?  The pastor of the church I'm going to hold it at, is emailing the flyer throughout all of the other churches in that denomination, and an elder is taking flyers to the hospital that she's a nursing supervisor at.  My daughter, Courtney, also posted the flyers in some online garage sale sites that are local to us.  Sunday, I'll be having all of the material for the seminar, including the flyers, printed up at Staples and will begin to start putting the packets together that I'll be giving out at the seminar.  

This has been a dream of mine, since I was first diagnosed with fibromyalgia.  Although fibromyalgia is what I was diagnosed with, this seminar will help anyone who suffers from any type of chronic pain condition and/or invisible illness.  To see my dream finally coming true, is surreal to me.  Now, as long as I have people show up, I'll be feeling pretty happy!  Having people show up is probably the biggest hurdle I'm up against lol.  I'd love to be able to advertise in the newspapers around here too, but I just don't have the money for that.  My husband still is acting like he doesn't have a family.  Since he moved 3 hours away to live with some woman he met on the internet he hasn't spoke to us nor gave us any money for child support or alimony.  My hearing to get child support started isn't until the end of August.  

To know that I'm working to make my dreams come true, and actually accomplishing those dreams, fills me with a great deal of pride and personal satisfaction.  I may be sick, but I can still fight and have a voice that's heard.  I'll never give up trying to advocate for those of us with conditions such as I have.  This will be a life-long journey for me.

If everyone could leave me a comment, telling me what you would like to see discussed at a seminar such as I'll be putting on, it would mean a great deal to me.  I know what I have planned to cover, but maybe I've missed something that would be beneficial to my audience.  I'd be humbled for you all to work with me, so that I can present the best possible seminar that I can!

Spiraling In A Dark Abyss

Every time I get my feet beneath me again, and start to feel like everything will be alright from my husband walking out on my daughter and I, something else happens.  The long, dark spiral starts again.  I feel like I'm spiraling out of control in a dark abyss.  Then starts the routine of once again, trying to find my footing.

Yesterday, my daughter sent a text to her grandmother.  She was trying to get a message to her dad that she wanted to talk to him.  She's been trying to contact him for 3.5 weeks now, with him never returning a phone call.  Her grandmother sent her a text back saying that her dad had quit his job and moved.  She asked her grandmother where he moved to, and if he has a new job.  Her grandmother sent a text back that said "Don't know".  That, made my daughter cry for hours on end asking me questions such as "If my dad loves me then why doesn't he at least send me a text asking how I'm doing?  If my dad cares about me, then why wouldn't he have seen me and told me in person he was moving away and quitting his job?".

I had noticed that when he took his entire paycheck out of an ATM within minutes of it hitting Thursday night, that he'd done so at an ATM in Zanesville, OH.  I wondered then why he'd be that far away (3hrs from where we live) at almost midnight on a work night.  It all makes sense now.  The weekend that he "disappeared", then came home on that Sunday night (Easter Sunday), all he would tell me is that he'd been about 3hrs from home, and that he'd been east of Columbus, OH.  When I asked "where east of Columbus" he'd told me it was none of my business.  I guess he obviously had met someone from that area somehow while he was still with me.  =(

My daughter was freaking out that her dad quit his job.  She kept saying "How will we live if he doesn't have a job for us to get child support and alimony from him?".  I told her I didn't have all of the answers right this minute, but not to worry that we'd be fine.  That we always turn out fine.  Nothing would appease her.  On the inside, I too was freaking out wondering the same thing.  I also was scared and worried about us losing our health insurance.  I have all of my tests and appointments rescheduled for The Cleveland Clinic on June 14th.  My dad told me that he was pretty sure that they'd started taking health insurance out of my husband's checks a month before it went into effect, so we should still have it for all of this month yet.  It appears he must be right, because it was still showing in effect today went I checked it again.

My father called and asked to speak to my daughter.  My mom had told him what I'd told her, about how scared, worried and upset Courtney was.  He told her that she isn't in this alone, that she'd always have me, him, and my mother and that all three of us will always do everything we can for her.  He told her that him and my mom would never let her go without something she really needed.  I'm so grateful to have the parents I do.  I'm an only child, and I love my parents so very much.

I can't begin to stress to all of you, how much I hate being chronically ill.  All of this, would be so much easier for me to handle, and so much less stressful, if I could just go out and apply for any job opening there is.  The cold, hard realities though, is that I can't.  No matter how much I truly want to work and bring in a paycheck, I can't.  I ended up crying yesterday too, telling my daughter that she's equally mine and her dads responsibility and I feel that I'm letting her down just as much as he is.  I told her how sorry I am that I can't work to bring in a paycheck so that she wouldn't have to worry so much.  My health, is making me a crappy parent.  I love all four of my kids so very much, that it just kills me mentally to not be able to work to provide my underage daughter with the things she needs and deserves.

All I could think about doing most of the day and evening yesterday was to go into my room, crawl into bed,  and cry myself to sleep then just stay there for a week.  I didn't do that though.  That would solve nothing.  That would just worry and frighten my daughter more then she already was.  This wasn't a solution.

I still don't have a solution to my problems.  I still don't know what to do.  I've always been a chronic worrier all of my life, and I will freely admit that I am so tired, so very mentally exhausted, of worrying about everything all alone.  I wish more then anything right now, that I had someone to hug me and hold me, and tell me everything will work out in the end.  I've been shouldering so much on my own in the last two months, that when I think of it, it astounds me.

The stress and worry that I have, throws me into flares.  Both pain and insomnia flares.  Alas, I crawled my way out of bed today.  I sat down at my computer, and I sent off yet another email asking for help in holding a chronic pain and invisible illness seminar.  It's become more then obvious to me, that the only way I'm going to be able to get a start in that business, is to somehow raise the funds to hold two or three of them on my own.  Come up with the money to rent a space, a conference room to hold them in, to purchase tickets with, and to pay for advertising for them, on my own.  Holding a few on my own will help to get my name out there.  I'll have something to put sample clips of, on YouTube.  People and organizations will be more willing to take a risk on me.  I knew this a few days ago, which is why I finally bit the bullet and opened a Go Fund Me account.  Now, even more than then, it's so important for me to be able to do this and as quickly as possible.  I'd never ask an individual to contribute to my Go Fund Me Account.  I know that this economy is horrible and times are tough for everyone right now.  I have to ask you all though, that if you have an affiliation with any corporation, organization, or business that may be willing to make a donation, that you please pass along my information.

If I can even hit even the $1000 mark in my account, then I'll start checking out prices of conference rooms and advertising.  If it's enough to hold the first one, I'll be on it right away.  I just truly don't know what to do to provide a living for my daughter and myself, besides this.  Today, Courtney and her boyfriend did a ton of work to the house for me.  I felt so guilty that I couldn't help them with what they were doing.  I went to the laundry room and started a load of laundry.  I was out of breath and in pain, so I had to come sit down.  After sitting for a bit I hoisted myself up again, and unloaded the dish washer.  Then again, I sat.  Then, I went out and loaded the dish washer.  I was in tears from the bending.  I also cleaned off my china cabinet today and dusted it.  Again, I had to break it up into small increments.  I did these things after pre-medicating myself with a pain pill.  I still was in tears from the pain.  Right now, my arms are killing me.  It's killing them just sitting here typing.  My shoulders are killing me, I can't even raise my arms above my head.  My neck hurts so badly, that I can barely turn my head from one side to the other or up and down.  My back is killing me.  My knees, and upper legs are aching and burning.  -And what did I do to cause all of this debilitating pain?  I threw some dirty towels in a washer, I unloaded and reloaded a dish washer, and I cleaned off a china cabinet (that seems to be a catch-all for everyone to throw everything on) and dusted it.  Not very much in the grand scheme of things, was it?  How in the world, can I get a "real" job and support us?  I just don't see how it's possible.  I had used up so many spoons today doing these few small tasks, that I couldn't even make supper tonight.  My daughter made ramen noodles.  She made some for me too, and I didn't even have the energy to eat them.  I took a few bites, then gave mine to her.  I was too tired to eat, and in so much pain that I didn't have an appetite.

I'm the type of person that doesn't like to ask for help from anyone.  My flight or fight instinct has kicked in though, and I don't really have a choice.  I have to ask you all, to please share my blog and my desire to make a career out of public speaking.  I ask you all to please think long and hard of any corporation or organization that might be willing to help me.  The more people that see and/or hear about my blog and my dream career of leading seminars, the better chance I have to make this dream come true and to start earning a living for my daughter and I.  I'm so very grateful for each and every one of you that's a part of my life here on my blog, and on my blog's facebook page.  It's comforting to me, to know that I'm not alone in my pain, and my daily struggles.  Thank you all for being here.

Education, Motivation, and Advocacy Seminars

It's become more then obvious, that if I want to conduct seminars on living with chronic pain/invisible illnesses, that I'm going to have to take the initiative to get things rolling for me.  Paid public speaking is a hard thing to break into until you have really made a name for yourself.  Opportunities are not going to just fall into my lap.  If I want this, then I need to make it happen.

As much as I didn't want to, I've opened a Go Fund Me account.  I'll be seeking donations, with the overall goal of collecting $5,000.  I need this money, to have the funds to rent a couple hotel conference rooms and pay for advertising, to get my first few seminars under way.  I'm also going to have to purchase a video camera so that my first few seminars can be recorded, then I can upload clips of it to YouTube, so that potential clients will see what I have to offer.  I've been approached by two different people so far, asking if I have any clips uploaded to  YouTube.  No clips, meant no work for me.

I'm confident that if I can book a few seminars on my own, that word will spread about me and I'll be able to make a career out of paid public speaking.  I want to educate, advocate, and motivate.  Not only individuals who suffer from chronic pain and/or invisible illnesses, but also doctors, nurses, politicians, pharmaceutical companies, the general population.  Nothing will ever change in the world concerning chronic pain conditions, unless people know about them, and understand them.  My hope is that someday soon, enough people will be aware of the facts of these conditions, that more research will be conducted and a cure, or at the very least, a concrete treatment plan will be found.  Right now there's too many myths about these conditions circulating that need to be dispelled.  

If you know of any company, corporation, or organization that would believe in me and what I'm trying to do, please point them to me and/or my donation page.  I absolutely hate asking for help, but I'm left with no choice but to swallow my pride and ask for donations.  This is too important to me to not make it happen just because I don't have the money to do so on my own.  You can find my donation page HERE.  Please help me spread the word.  Help me to get my voice heard.  Thank you all in advance!

Memorial Day 2012

Today was a tough day for me to get through.  See, my STBX husbands birthday is May 27th.  We always have our pool up, and grill out.  Sometimes we'd go camping for the weekend, or rent a cabin in southern Ohio.  I can't tell you how many times I thought of him yesterday.  Our daughter tried to get a hold of him so she could tell him happy birthday, but he didn't return her call.  That hurt her, which hurt me in return, as her mother.  

Despite him not being here this year, I was bound and determined to try and make this a great day for my daughter anyway.  Well, you all know what they say about the best laid plans, right?!  My son put the pool up for us about a week ago.  I figured that would give us plenty of time to have it ready to swim in by today. Well, we had one problem after another with the pool, filling it, etc.  I had one pouch of chemicals left from last year and figured that would be enough to get it going for us.  Wrong.  Today, the pool looked like a greenish-black sesspool.  Of course since I haven't worked in years I don't have a job to make money to buy  more chemicals, and the STBX isn't paying me support that he promised he'd pay when he walked out.  

Next, my daughter wanted chicken on the grill with BBQ sauce.  Go ahead and laugh, but I've never cooked on a gas grill before.  My STBX always did it.  Courtney (my daughter) wanted it so bad, and has been so hurt and disappointed over various things since her dad walked out, that I felt I had to try.  It took us until around 8:30pm to get the grill out and start making supper.  The electric start on the grill is broken, which I knew, so we have to light it with a match or lighter.  We'd had those long lighters that's used for that, and that's what STBX always used.  Of course we couldn't find it though.  We rolled up a piece of computer paper and used that to light it with.  Low and behold, after we were done, we found the long lighter.  She's trying to be nice and saying that the chicken was really good, but in all honesty it was pretty much a charred disaster.  

My youngest son is the only one of my children that's married.  Him and his wife are in the process of moving out of my house.  They stopped over to pick up a load of their things.  He casually mentioned to me that he'd seen his aunt yesterday, the one who STBX moved in with when he left me.  He said that he'd asked his aunt what his dad had been up to (he'd stopped to try and see him on his birthday) and she told him "Nothing much.  He's just been hanging out with his new girlfriend".  Of course hearing that today, even though I already "knew" he was seeing someone, really hurt.  By the time my son had left, I was sitting hunched over my desk due to my back pain.  I started having chest pain again (I think it's from anxiety), and felt completely wiped out.  I couldn't help it, but the tears started flowing again.  

My kids haven't heard from, nor seen their dad in almost 3 weeks now.  This is really hurting my daughter.  She had called and left messages for him to call her, for a week straight without receiving a phone call back from him.  Stuff like this really hurts my health and my depression.  When I see my daughter hurt, it hurts me.    All of this stress; him leaving, him not giving me monetary support (this past Thursday night when his check hit, within 5 minutes or less of it hitting he'd taken it all out exept for $15.40 that he left for us), not being able to get a start in public speaking for motivation and advocacy like I'd desperately praying for, feeling ill, all of it, makes me have pain and insomnia flares.

I'm not sure where I'm supposed to go with my life, but I'm still clinging to the idea that there's a reason for everything that's happening to me.  I still firmly believe that the reason I became so sick, with so many health problems, is because I'm supposed to educate people with seminars.  I do realize now, that in the grand scheme of things, my daughter and myself are better off without my husband here.  He didn't treat us right, even when he was here.  We both deserve better then that.  Still, I loved him very much, so it hurts.  It's so hard to get used to not having someone to do things with.  Someone to talk to. Someone to give me a hug, and care how I feel that day.  It's boring and lonely.  I know, that eventually I'll adapt though.  Eventually, I'll get a break in paid public speaking and I'll be able to support my daughter and myself.  I'll eventually have that to busy my time, and to get me out around other adults.  I'll be able to focus on making a brand new life for Courtney and I.  One that's better then what we had.

Some days, it feels like the depression is just too much for me.  The stress, feels like it's pulling me under a current and that no matter how hard I try to keep swimming, I'm going to sink anyway.  My fibromyalgia and arthritis was bad before he ever left.  Now, the symptoms are a lot worse.  I didn't think that was possible, but unfortunately I've been shown that it's very possible.  Some days, the pain is crippling.  Some evenings it takes everything I have, to walk across the house.  I moan and groan like I'm 80yrs old from the pain in my knees, every time I stand up.  

No matter how much pain I'm in, or how dark and dismal my future may look to me right now, I know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.  I'm a fighter.  I always have been.  Therefore, I pick myself up and carry on.  I refuse to allow a man I've loved to ruin me.  I refuse to lay down and cave into the pain of my illnesses.  One of these days, someone in the right field will hear my cry.  They'll read my words.  They'll talk to me, and see what my seminar is about, and what I have to offer their audience.  I believe in not only myself enough, but in everyone with a chronic pain illness and/or an invisible illness enough, that I won't shut up.  I'll keep thinking, and reading, and researching, and blogging, and sending emails until someone reaches out a hand for me to grab.  A lifeline that they throw to me, to pull me out of the water.  Then, in my seminars, people will not only hear my voice, but the voices of all of us who suffer from these debilitating conditions.  When will that day come?  I don't know.  I do know though, that it will come.

The Face Of Rejection

Another rejection email came in today.  I had received a lead from a lady on FaceBook, to contact the pastor of her church to see if he'd donate space at the church for me to hold a seminar, then sell tickets to the seminar to make my money.  This lady is local to me, within about a 30 minute drive.  She too, lives every day in chronic pain and wants me to get a seminar scheduled somewhere so that she can attend.  I was really hopeful about this one.  Unfortunately he emailed back today saying that they don't donate nor rent space out at the church and they'd never sell tickets to a speaker.  I'm not gonna lie, with this one, tears stung my eyes but I blinked them back. 

I knew upfront that I'd face a lot of rejection in the beginning.  My hope is that after I have done one or two, that word of mouth will help me with booking more in the future.  Just because I've been rejected by 3 or 4 places in the past week, I'm not going to quit.  I'm passionate about this.  I need this.  Others that live every day of their lives need this too.  I still feel that this is what I'm supposed to do, therefore when the time is right, the doors will open.   I just kind of feel like I'm hitting a brick wall.  I'm running out of ideas of where to turn, to try and make this happen.  I had received an email from a Dr of Rheumatology at a local medical school that told me the university didn't have funds for this type of thing, but that my best bet would be to contact some drug companies.  They at least may be willing to provide me with grant money to set up my own seminars.  The old saying it takes money to make money is unfortunately very true.  If I had the money, I could just book a conference room at a hotel, and pay for advertising in newspapers, etc. to the event.  As it is, I don't have a pot to piss in right now though. 

I'm not looking to get rich.  I don't care about being famous.  I just want to do something that I'm passionate about, advocate for something I believe in, and make a comfortable living to support my daughter and myself.  I'm only planning on setting ticket prices at $15 for one, or $25 for two.  I just want to get the word out about what it's truly like to live your life in chronic pain.  Present some of the latest research, and pass along some coping mechanisms and resources for people with a chronic pain and/or invisible illness.  My bills are fairly minimal and as long as I can make enough money to pay them on time without worry, buy groceries each week, buy necessities that my daughter and myself need, and have a little set back in case of an emergency, I'd be very happy and content. 

In the meantime, I've tried a few channels (including etsy) to sell a some of my photography work to bring in a little cash.  That too, has gotten me nowhere.  Between all of the rejection, physical pain I'm in every day, and the mental pain and worry due to my impending divorce, it would be so easy to just lay down and cry, and never get up again.  I refuse to do that though.  I'm a fighter.  I always have been, my entire life.  Every day I tell myself to "just hold on".  Tomorrow will be the day that I get a break and things will start getting easier.  I tell myself that sooner or later, something good has to happen to me, because I'm trying so hard to make good things happen.  I'd heard all my life from my mother, that "God helps those who help themselves".  That's what I've been trying to do.  I've even done my best to stop asking "Why Me?" about things, because I'm a believer that everything happens for a reason and that down the road the answer to that will be made clear.  I have to admit though, it's starting to get really hard to remain optimistic.  One can only tell themselves that tomorrow will be a better day so many times, before it becomes hard to believe that.  Alas, I will keep racking my brain trying to make things happen.  Trying to come up with ideas.  I may be down right now, but please don't count me out yet.
 

I Demand To Be Heard

My illness (all of them) may be invisible, but my voice isn't!   May is Fibromyalgia Awareness Month, along with several other neuro-immune disorders. What better month for me to start working hard to break into public speaking? This week I'm going to start contacting groups, organizations, universities, etc. to introduce myself, my mission, and to try and book a seminar. It'll never happen unless I make it happen. If you know of a church, organization, university, medical group, etc. that may be able to utilize my service, please either give me their contact information, or give them mine. My seminar will be "Living With Chronic Pain/Invisible Illness - A Patient's View".  Let's work together and try to educate as many people, med students, lawyers, politicians, researchers, etc that we can! Let's take a stand and DEMAND attention!

May 11th (1 day before the official Fibro Awareness DAY) will be only 3 months that The FibroFrog Blog and FB Fan Page have been in operation. In that short time, we've already reached a Google Page Rank of 2 (which is GREAT for this short of a time period), my Klout Score has Sky Rocketed to a 60, and we're at almost 1200 FB Fans. I've had several mentions and DM's on Twitter. Several blog posts/articles have been featured in many online newspapers, as well. I feel that's phenominal, and proves that there are MANY of us out there, and many "interested" people. I'm passionate to educate on this subject, and feel that public speaking and seminars on this, is what I'm supposed to do. I feel like this is the reason I got sick in the 1st place.  I'm asking all of YOU to be my personal agents and help me be heard!  Spread the word about our illness, about me, and about my seminar.  Let's let it be known that we demand acknowledgement, research and CURE!

The Cries Of Chronic Pain

The Cries Of Chronic Pain

I sit and yawn, all night long,
My eyes, they burn like fire.
I can not sleep, for then I weep,
So tired, for sleep I desire.

The aches and pains, my memory games,
The cramps and numbness I feel.
I patiently wait, and try not to hate,
This illness, my fate won't seal.

Sometimes it's cramps, sometimes it's pain,
Sometimes it's memory loss, recalling the words in vein.
Sometimes it's numbness, sometimes it's depression,
Leaving one to feel, that they are to blame.

I do not see your sickness, some may say to me,
You have all your hair, and you're standing here.
Not in a hospital, or in a wheelchair,
Or anything else, that you can't bare.

Don't you see my weariness, and the dark circles around my eyes?
You don't see the tears I cry, or the fear that I won't rise?
The feeling when you look for a word, to find it nowhere around,
Sometimes you feel crazy, and not like you're so sound.

This illness doesn't discriminate, it really doesn't care,
You can be any age, don't think that you're too rare.
It's unrelenting in it's attack, it doesn't care where you're at,
It strikes you like a theif in the night, robbing you of all your delight.

Not enough research, no answers to share,
No cure for this illness, nobody to care.
No magic pill is in our sight, no government grants to make things right,
No big budgets, to forge an attack, no relief  through the night.

Sit and plan your day if you dare, with this illness it will not care,
It will not care, what you want to do.
This illness will try to define who you are, leaving you feel empty,
your heart in a jar, leaving you with feelings that are just untrue.

One by one, we have to fight,
speak our minds, and make things right.
Cry out to one and all, make your voice heard,
Put up a fight, never give up while looking for a knight.

The more that hear, and learn to understand,
invisible illness will lose the upper hand.
Chronic pain, our way of life,
Someday will not, give us strife.

Don't sit silent, in your own pain,
Stand up and demand, the world make a gain.
Gain to understand, this illness and it's desire,
Science needs to learn, how to put out the fire.

The louder we speak, and the straighter we stand,
The better chance we have, to make the demand.
Demand that fibro, and all chronic pain,
Get the funding it deserves, so our lives aren't in vein.

Chronic pain can get us down, make us lose our own self-esteem,
Only if we don't let it, we need to fight like a team.
One voice for all, let it be known,
We won't stop, we'll continue to scream.

Until a cause, and a cure is found,
We won't shut up, or lie on the ground.
We will fight with all we've got, educating the public never to stop,
Not until a cure is found, will they be able to drown out our sound.

Copyright © The Fibro Frog and Amy Mullholand.  Reproductions available with written consent and a linkback to this original copy.

Motivation and Advocacy - Public Speaking

 

 

Friends, paid public speaking is something that I was trying to set myself up to venture into within the next 6 months to a year. The Fibro Frog is gaining exposure and talk in several circles. Life is full of twists and turns though, and due to the turns my life has taken, I need to just jump right in. If you know of a group or organization that would benefit from a motivation and advocacy speaker on living with chronic pain and/or an invisible illness, please pass my name on to them. Several handouts, as well as resources will be included in all seminar's.  As long as they're willing to pay my travel expenses along with my fee, I don't care where in the country they're located.