Friday, July 18, 2014


I hate drugs.  I've always hated them.  Even as a teenager, I'd rather moan and wriggle, and exclaim that I was going to die, than to take a stinking Tylenol or two for period cramps or a headache.  I really don't know what my hang-up has always been about them, but it used to make me half sick to my stomach to even swallow one.  To even think about taking drugs of any kind.

I've exlaimed to both my family doc and my pain management doc, that I refuse all narcotics until the day comes that I can't move or walk and just absolutely have to have them to drag my butt out of bed.  In all honesty, I'd rather cry (and I have many times) due to pain then to gag down some stupid narcotic that eventually would make me become addicted to it's nastiness.  

Where I refuse narcotics, I'm prescribed Tramadol for pain.  Oh let me tell you about that nasty little drug! A synthetic opiod.  A non-narcotic. They can say it's a non-narcotic all they want but I think the effects of it is just as bad.  I have to feel as if I'm about to die, to swallow one of those evil little white pills.  

This afternoon, the pain was so intense that I thought about it for a little while.  My thought process went something like this: "Ouch! Cuss words in my head.  Am I gonna die?  Cuss words in my head.  Should I take a Tramadol?  -Or would I be better off not to take a Tramadol and see if the pain actually does kill me?  Let's think this through.  Death?  Tramadol?  Death?  Tramadol?  Hmmm  ...ok, I guess I'll take a *!^* Tramadol."

After about 20-30 minutes of swallowing the dumb thing, I started getting cotton mouth.  A few minutes later, I started feeling jittery inside.  About 10 minutes after that, I felt like I was completey wasted, fubar drunk.  Then, the jittery-ness became even worse yet.  Next, the drunk feeling subsided a bit but my insides still felt jittery.  I felt nauseous and had a dull headache.  I was sitting here just zoning and kind of felt like I was outside of my body watching it.  I'm still in the last phase of the nausea/headache/zoning/feeling like I'm outside of my body.  

What is that they say about hindsight?  -If I had it to do over again, I never would have taken the damn pill earlier.  I would have taken my over dramatic chances on the pain causing death and dealt with it.  The Tramadol doesn't take it all away for me anyway.  I don't see how people can be druggies.  For the life of me, I can't understand why someone would want to feel like this.  How in the world can they like this type of feeling?  I just do not get it.  

Sometimes, it all feels like a cruel joke to me.  If anyone should be a druggy, it should be me to take away my pain ...but I detest it more than anything!  It feels ironic to me, and I picture some evil, sadistic person sitting around laughing about it after cursing me to suffer from a debilitating chronic pain illness and cursing me to hate drugs.  

Why, oh why isn't there a cure for Fibromyalgia?  My opinion of that answer is because not enough people know enough about it.  Not enough people know the truth about it.  It isn't important enough to non-sufferers to want to provide funding for further research.  That will never change unless we the sufferers change it.  Everyday I ask myself the question "How can I change that?".  The only conclusion I can come up with is to keep opening my big mouth.  Keep sharing the realities of our daily lives.  Keep trying to get the word out.

I've been plagued with pain, insomnia, and depression flares over and over for awhile now.  I've thought "What does it matter if I blog or update the facebook page because my little big ole mouth isn't going to make a difference. Who's going to listen to me or care what I have to say or how miserably pathetic my life has become because of this illness".  I've even contemplated giving up the blog and facebook page. As you can see on both here and the facebook page, I've let myself sit and wallow in a miserable puddle of self-pity but the effects of this damn pill today has pulled my head out and made me start "trying" again.  If nothing or nobody else, I've been letting myself down by not blogging or updating facebook.  If I suffer daily with Fibromyalgia and I won't try to get the word out about it, then how in the hell can I expect other people to do it?  I can't.  

My blog, my whines, my cries, my pleas and begging may never help lead to a cure or understanding and compassion concerning Fibro but doing nothing certainly will not get it done.  No one outside of this blog may ever know who I am, or what I've endured in my life but at least with this I know I've tried.  My children will know I tried.  I'll know that when I'm dead and gone, my children will know that I went with dignity and never giving up hope.  They can be proud of me that I didn't just give up and lay down without a fight.  I stood up for myself and the millions of others out there, that suffer every single day of their lives.

Will you all fight this fight with me?  Will you do everything you can to create awareness and demand further research?  Let's do this together!  Let's roar!  

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Summertime Fun Giveaway!

Welcome to what promises to be one of the hottest giveaways of the summer! This is the Summertime Fun Giveaway hosted by Life in a House of Testosterone and Friends! Get ready to have some fun, because we're taking celebrating summer to a whole new level this year with over $1,800 in prizes to be won thanks to some last minute contributions to our prize packages! You can view a complete list with photographs of the prize packages here. summertime fun giveaway

Hosted by:

Life in a House of Testosterone

Co-Hosted by:

Barbara's Beat | BloggieAway | Deliciously Savvy | Dividing by Zero | Heartbeats ~Soul Stains

Holiday Contest & Sweeps | Libby's Library | Simply Sherryl | Wrap with Jolene

I want to take a moment to thank our absolutely wonderful list of sponsors that are participating in this event!

The Summertime Fun Giveaway is giving you 3 CHANCES TO WIN with three prize packages up for grabs! In order to save you from scrolling continuously, each of the prizes being awarded are linked directly to their product page. They are as follows:

Grand Prize Package

summertime fun giveaway grand prize package

The Grand Prize Package Contains Prizes Worth Over $724.00

2nd Place Package

summertime fun giveaway 2nd prize package

The Second Place Prize Package Contains Prizes Worth Over $573.00

3rd Place Package

summertime fun giveaway 3rd prize package

The 3rd Place Prize Package Contains Prizes Worth Over $428.00

Special Offers and Discounts

Several of our sponsors have been generous enough to offer discount coupons to our readers who may wish to make a purchase during the giveaway event. This information is listed below.

LaBella Baskets

LaBella BasketsLaBella Baskets offers a LBB membership for $9.95 per year. Once you purchase a LBB membership, you will be sent an email with your login information. You then receive your very own discount website so when you are ready to purchase gifts, you receive a 20% off discount on each gift you purchase without having to worry about keeping track of a discount code! Click here to grab a LBB membership! In addition, LaBella Baskets offers a Candle of the Month Club Membership for $19.99 per month. After your first purchase, you will be able to choose which candles you want each month, with 32 scents to choose from! Click here to purchase a Candle of the Month Club membership! With both of these membership options, there is no expiration date and you can cancel your membership at any time!

Bag A Book

BagabookOur friends at Bag A Book have generously offered to provide our readers with a 20% off discount for any item on their website. Just use discount code SFS20 when you check out. This discount code expires 12/31/2014. Six months of incredible savings! Thanks Bag A Book!


iHerb.comNeoCell has generously offered to provide a savings code for their sister site - iHerb.com. Use code CIP001 to receive a discount between $5.00 and $10.00 if you are a new customer to iHerb.com.

Trillium Organics

Trillium OrganicsTrillium Organics is offering our readers a 10% off discount from July 1 to July 30 on your order. Just use coupon code SUMMER10 at checkout! In addition, Trillium is holding a giveaway on their website for a FULL YEAR'S SUPPLY OF TRILLIUM ORGANICS! On 12/1/2014, one lucky winner will be chosen to receive 6 jars of Organic Body Polish, 6 bottles of Organic Body Soap, 3 jars of Organic Body Butter, 3 bottles of Organic Body Oil, 3 jars of Organic Soaking Salt, and 3 bottles of Organic Perfume! All you need to do is click here to enter and be sure to sign up for the Trillium Organics newsletter to ensure you're notified if you win!


StainRxStainRx is an effective stain remover that attacks stains on a molecular level with no peroxide, chlorine bleach, or phosphates. Now thru 8/1/2014, use discount code GoldBros to receive 10% off your order. StainRx is pH neutral and will not adversely affect colorfast washable fabrics. StainRx removes many tough (and even old) stains, while keeping colors vibrant and whites whiter without oxidizing agents!

Creamed. Gourmet Body Treats

creamed gourmet body treatsHomemade soaps from Creamed Gourmet Body Treats are formulated with high quality base oils, then once the lye is neutralized, Organic Cocoa Butter, Organic Shea Butter and Avocado Oil are added. Creamed Gourmet Body Treats is offering 10% off your purchase through 7/30 when you use coupon code LIAHSOAP. Visit the shop today and check out the wonderful homemade treats in store for you!

Giveaway Information

This giveaway is open to entrants residing in the Continental United States, age 18 and older. There are quite a few entries that can be earned during this giveaway so please take care to follow instructions for each entry carefully. Three winners will be randomly chosen on Wednesday, July 16, 2014 and entries verified. If you did not leave the proper information for us to verify the random entry chosen, another entry will be drawn.

Once all three entries have been drawn and verified, you will receive an email at the email address you listed on the mailing information form. You will have until midnight EST on Friday, July 18, 2014 to respond to that email. If you do not respond within the allotted time frame, another winner will be chosen.

Sponsors will be responsible for shipping out your winning prize package items to you directly.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Disclosure: Life in a House of Testosterone organized this event. As a participating blogger, I received no compensation for promoting this event. This giveaway is in no way sponsored, endorsed, administered by, or associated with any social media network or with the Rafflecopter giveaway system. Prize shipment will be coordinated by Life in a House of Testosterone and the sponsors of this event. Should you have any questions at all, please contact kim@lifeinahouseoftestosterone.com directly.