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Showing posts with label DDD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label DDD. Show all posts

Saturday, February 6, 2016

The Joy Of Cooking

Before fibromyalgia and all of my spinal and arthritis conditions, I loved to cook!  I never loved the clean-up afterwards, but cooking brought me such joy.  So much joy, that I even used to own a little "eatery".  I call it an "eatery" because it was inside of a mall, not a real restaurant.

As all of my conditions have worsened over the years, it's become so hard for me to really cook.  The pain is excruciating.  Some days, it brings me to tears to stand long enough to even fry an egg.  Therefore, I don't do a lot of real cooking anymore.  This truly makes me sad.  As I'm sure most of you know, fibro steals so much of our happiness.  Even the small things that people take for granted, such as cooking, are taken away.

I am SO proud, because I cooked a meal tonight.  A good meal.  I zested lemons, and chopped potatoes, and prepared 2 whole chickens.  I made lemon-pepper chicken, chunked potatoes, baby carrots, and fresh grean beans.  I had real, alive, eating, breathing people over for supper!  My daughter and her boyfriend, my son and his fiance, and a 12 year old boy who's parents are good friends of the family was hanging out with me today.  


In the middle of making this delicious meal, I was in so much pain I was fighting back tears.  Part way through the preperations I wildly wonderded what in the heck I'd been thinking, to undertake this task!  When the timer went off, I had to have my son take it out of the oven, and there's no way I could've ever carried the platter to the table so my daughter graciously did that task for me.

I hate to say it, but I was in so much pain that I wasn't even hungry.  Still, I forced myself to eat a little and indulge in the victory over fibro tonight.  I may still be sitting here hurting so badly that a handful of vicodin sounds like an amazing dessert  ....but I did it!  I beat fibro today!  I did something that I used to love to do, and I enjoyed it with my family!

**Disclaimer -the "vicodin" reference was thrown in to try to be funny, as I don't take any narcotics for my fibro at all.  I've refused them since diagnosis because I know that fibro is something I'm going to have to live with for the rest of my life and I don't want to become addicted to narcs.  I also realize that once I take one kind for so long, they'll stop working and there's only so many drugs out there.  I don't want to be in my 60's or 70's and in double the pain I'm in now, with nothing left to take because my body has built up a tolerance to all of the pain killers out there.  Some days (like tonight for instance haha) I wonder if the time has come to start taking something for pain, but alas I just pop a diclofenac 2x a day, grin, and bear it.  :)



Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Careful What You Wish For


There was this girl who had fibro.  We'll refer to her from here on out, as FG ...short for Fibro Girl.  She also had COPD and some other ailments.  FG had caught a bad cold last week and as we all know, when a person has fibro, everything is worse.  She drug her butt around sniffling and sneezing, and blowing her sore red nose.  Gasping for breath through a completely plugged nose she'd think "Boy, if only I could get over this cold".  Monday, she stopped sneezing and her head felt normal again but now her lungs were clogged.  She'd cough and wheeze and curse her crappy health.  

FG started to feel depressed.  Depression is a common co-condition of fibro, and FG deals with it from time to time. FG would sit around with tears welling up in her eyes.  She felt sad, and lonely, and depressed.  She wondered why she has to live day to day in pain.  She wondered why she only has a few friends that she can ever get together with.  She thought about how crappy of a person her ex-husband is, for leaving her just because of her health conditions.  FG even wondered if she'd now be alone for the rest of her life.  FG's latest idiotic saying lately has been "I couldn't even buy a date to McDonald's.  Some dude would take my money then through me out of the car before he turned into the parking lot".

Being nice, the boyfriend of FG's daughter told her last night not to make plans for supper tonight because he was going to take her out to eat at a buffet, with him and FG's daughter.  Today came and FG was so tired and fatigued, that she wasn't sure she could go out to eat.  Thinking it may do her more good than harm though, FG forced herself to go.  

FG was still in a funk.  It was so bitter cold.  Her muscles and joints started aching as soon as she walked out the door.  She was determined though, to enjoy herself for once.  

Shortly after arriving at the restaurant, FG was sitting there eating.  Her daughter and the boyfriend started whispering and giggling.  FG asked them "what's going on?".  FG's daughter said "just a minute" then pulled out her cell phone and sent FG a text.  It said "That creepy old man sitting diagonal from us won't quit staring at you mom, and he keeps smiling".  FG tried to be extremely casual about it, but looked over her shoulder to see a gentleman dining alone, openly staring at her.  FG just kind of shrugged it off.  

A bit later, FG got up to go get some more food.  She could feel eyes burning into her back all the way to the buffet tables.  Walking back to the table, Creepy Older Man was staring at her, looking her up & down, and smiling at her.  FG kept looking straight ahead, and found her seat.  

Now, FG has always had a kind heart for the elderly.  Always smiles and nods, or stops and talks, when she comes upon the elderly.  This gentleman though, was not that elderly.  He probably had a good 15 years on FG, but FG is over the hill only 43 years old.  So in the eyes of FG's 18.5 yr old daughter, he was an old man.  In FG's eyes, he was just an older man.  

FG was trying to eat, but she could feel eyes buring into her with every bite she took.  She couldn't help obviously non-chalantly glancing to see if her ever over-active imagination was taking over, or if her every move was being watched.  For once, she wasn't completely delusional.  Creepy Older Guy really was staring at her constantly.  By constantly, I mean only looking away to get food on his fork, then staring as he forked it into his mouth.  He'd smile the creepiest smile as he stared at her. It became unnerving.

By this point, FG was feeling self-conscious with every bite she took, herself!  FG saw Creepy Older Guy finally stand up and grab his coat, out of the corner of her eye.  She froze, half-scared that on his way old Creepy Older Guy would stop at the table and say something.  An audible sigh of relief was heard coming from FG's lips, as the gentleman passed the table without stopping.

The entire ride home, FG's daughter made little jokes about Creepy Older Man liking FG.  Once home, FG thought about the whole situation, and cracked up laughing!  Although some would think the non-stop, hyena-sounding laugh meant that FG had finally cracked and lost her sanity, FG knew it was a good sign.  Her bought of depression had finally some-what disapated.  She also had learned a valuable lesson when it came to complaining about being single and not being able to "buy a date to McDonald's".  She learned to be careful what you wish for ...because there will always be a Creepy Older Man Prince Charming out there somewhere, that you'll run across sometime in your life.

FG is in physical pain tonight.  The bitter cold makes her old bones ache and her muscles have sharp, shooting pains in them.  Still, she's thankful that she forced herself out of the house.  This has been good for her mind and soul.