I'm Proud To Be A Spoonie

I'm Proud To Be A Spoonie.

I'm Strong, Independent, & 

Fearless.  I Wake Up

& Put One Foot InFront Of The Other.

I Stare Pain &

Fatigue In The Eye.

I'm A Warrior.  I

Fight Every Day

Because That's

The Only Choice I 

Have.  This Isn't The 

Life I Asked For, But

I Face It With Grace.  I

Never Give Up HOPE

Because I Am A Spoonie.

This shirt is available in a women's t-shirt, a men's t-shirt, or a unisex tank top with multiple color choices available!  The wording is printed on the back of the shirt and front is plain.  Proudly let the world know that you're a Spoonie!  Place your order, by clicking HERE!!

HP Computer Giveaway!!

Hosted by:

NYSavingSpecials

Co-hosted by:

Peanut Butter and Whine, Rosey The Coupon Coach, Capri's Coupons, Barbara's Beat and 

Simply Sherryl

One lucky winner will win 

a

HP 2000-2d62NR 15.6" Laptop Computer - Black Licorice $529 + 1 year insurance (total prize value $588)

Dates:

April 28 12:01am EST. To May 12 11:59pm  EST.

Valid only in the Continental United States. 

Void where prohibited

18 years or older to enter/only 1 entrant per household

 Winner is chosen through random.org Good luck to everyone! I'd love to see a fan of The Fibro Frog win this!

All entries are optional.

All winning entries will be verified

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Disclaimer: NYSavingSpecials is responsible for the awarding of the prize.  If you have any questions about this giveaway, please email the host at nysavingspecials@gmail.com.  This blog, Facebook, Twitter or any other social media network is not associated with this giveaway.

Dear God

"Dear God,
I grew up hearing the phrase "God helps those who help themselves". Well, when are you going to give me that help? Years ago I worked 3 part-time jobs (worked Mon-Sun. 7 days a week) plus carried 18 credit hours in college, as well as being a single parent to 4 children ages 6 and under. In my situation now, I've sent email after email. I've blogged, I've tweeted, I've used every social media network I possibly can trying to make a new career for myself. Still not a break. I certainly feel that I've tried my best to "help myself". All I've received for my efforts is an incurable illness, a husband who cheated and left me, sadness, rejection and disappointment. I have gained a few more "fans" to at least show me I'm not alone in my daily, chronic pain. For that, I am thankful. Everyone says to me "In HIS time, things will come together for you". When's that time? Will it ever come? Will I ever be able to feel happy again? Or that my life is worth something? How many more nights can I tell myself that "Tomorrow will be the day. Tomorrow things will start to turn around for me"? I know I'm supposed to have patience God, but patience doesn't pay the bills or buy food. Patience doesn't give me a sense of security or tell me that everthing's going to be alright. Patience doesn't wipe away the tears that are running down my face, nor does it cure my illness or the illnesses of those around me who are also suffering. I've cried out to you Lord, begging for your help. To at least have a sense of peace. To at least not feel so alone. I don't know what else to do."

This was my Facebook status last night.  I had a friend comment and ask me "Can anyone you're contacting about a seminar see this?".  I told her no, that my facebook is locked down tight (due to my impending divorce) and only friends can see anything.  Not even "friends of friends" can see photos.  I've thought about this all day, and you know what?  I don't feel that there's anything in that status that would "hurt" me in my prospects of conducting a chronic pain/invisible illness seminar.  At first, her comment made me feel ashamed, like I'd posted something really wrong.  Her comment made me feel weak. 

After thinking about this all day, I've decided that I'm not going to feel bad for posting my true feelings at that particular time.  I'm not going to let it make me feel weak.  I've decided that her comment, is one of the reasons why I want to conduct seminars on living with chronic pain/invisible illness.  She obviously doesn't get it, and that's ok.  She's even a nurse, and a very good one at that, but she just doesn't understand how my illness works.  She probably doesn't have any experience with it. 

When living with a chronic pain/invisible illness that there's no cure for...or even a solid treatment plan for, depression is a normal symtom of the illness.  Depression is even listed on everything you read, as a symptom of fibromyalgia.  Even when things are going as good as can be expected in a person's life, when they have an illness like mine, they still have bouts of depression.  With my husband walking out on me April 8th, and already in a new relationship with an old highschool girlfriend, not paying me the money I need to support my daughter and myself, and the fact I haven't worked in years due to my health, I'm under a lot of pressure.  Add in my illnesses, and in all honesty I think that I'm actually coping pretty good.

Sure, I get sad.  I cry.  I feel depressed sometimes, but I get out of bed every day.  I do what I can to clean my house with the help of my kids.  I keep up with 2 blogs and 2 facebook fan pages every day.  I keep beating the bushes, looking for opportunities to possibly present a seminar. Public speaking for advocacy and awareness is my passion, and I won't give up on making a career out of it.  I keep up with my medicines and doctor appointments.  I've taken the initiative to make phone calls that need made, to speak to attorneys, to try and get bills into my name and keep up with them.

In all honesty, I think I could be doing a whole lot worse then what I am right now.  After thinking about this all day today, I decided that if anyone reads my status from last night that had been considering hiring me to do a presentation decided not to hire me because of those words, then they're the one's who really need to hear my presentation.  They need to be made aware of what it's like to live the daily life of someone with a chronic pain/invisible illness.  What they will see if they read those words, is that they're going to get a presentation from a person who's honest.  From a person who isn't ashamed to tell the truth of what living a life such as mine, is like.  Someone who's willing to stand up and tell people how impurfect life is when you're faced with a chronic illness.  They will see that I don't quit.  I don't give up.  That I'm strong enough to keep facing my life day after day even when it's tough.  I hope they see the passion I have, to try and educate about people like us. People who live their life waiting, hoping, and praying for a cure.  The only way we'll ever have a cure, is if enough people hear our stories.  If they start to truly understand what life is like for us.  If enough demands for funding is made.  If pressure is put on political parties and pharmaceutical companies, to fund research.

I'm not afraid of my status.  I'm not ashamed of my status.  I'm not ashamed of my feelings, nor of my illnesses.  After thinking about it all day long, I'm proud of my status.  Since my facebook is locked down tight, I've decided to take that status, and turn it into a blog post.  That is how strong-willed I am.  That's how honest I am.  That is the type of professinal speaker you'll get, if you hire me.  I will never apologize for my true feelings.  I'll never apologize for speaking the truth.  I hope and pray, that I'm the type of speaker that you'd be proud to hire.

Here I Go!

I really love this photo "Education = Future", because it's so true.  It's way more than what meets the eye at first glance.  One would look at this, and think along the lines of "You have to get an education to make a career for yourself, in the future".  True, very true. This is also true though, in that if people are educated on any subject or topic they then understand it better.  If there's better understanding, there's more empathy.  More compassion.  More demands to find answers and cures.  This is where I'm going to come in at.  I want to educate as many different people as I can about chronic pain and invisible illnesses.  I want to educate everyone from educators, to medical personal, to stay at home moms, to work out of home moms, to researchers, to lawyers, to students.  Pretty much anyone and everyone. 

I won't make any bones about it.  I don't have a fancy degree.  I don't have any initials behind my name.  Heck, I haven't even had a college level class on public speaking.  What I do have though, is first hand knowledge of what it's like to live a life with invisible illnesses, and being in pain every single day.  Also, I have a burning desire to educate on these topics, along with a strong will and I'm not afraid of rejection off the bat.  I know with hard work and dedication, I can do anything I set my mind to. 

My oldest daughter is 22 years old.  We aren't a rich family, but we always told our children all through their lives, that they can do anything they want to do as long as they worked hard for it.  My daughter was still 17 when she graduated high school.  She went to a nearby state university, utilizing some scholarships and student loans.  She carried 18-21 credit hours making straight A's.  She did this while also working 40-50 hours a week at night, in a factory.  After her sophomore year, she did a lot of research as to what college or universities would help give her an edge in the career path she was heading down.  She applied to University of Denver, and was accepted. Not knowing a single sole, she packed her suitcase, hopped a plane, and started a new life.  My daughter graduated with her undergrad last June.  Now, she's still at DU as a grad student.  Not only is she a grad student in economics, with focuses on both international and developmental economics, but she's also a teaching assistant for the econ department which helps her with her grad school tuition.  In addition to this, she also is a tutor for the student athlete department and the student disability department.  Nikki also does private tutoring, on the side.  To say that I'm proud of her hard work, her ethics, and her dedication is an understatement. 

With all I've personally been going through lately, Nikki sent me an email.  I want to quote something from that email.  She said: " In my personal statement I mention that while I did not grow up in a family that had very much money, in fact we had no money, you and dad always told me that I could be anything I wanted to be as long as I worked hard enough. ".  This brought a mama to tears.  To know that she was listening all the times we told her that.  To know, that is what gave her the inspiration to break the cycle of poverty.  If I could help to instill these qualities in my daughter, then how can I not live by this rule myself?  I must start practicing what I preach. 

With all this said, I must give credit to my daughter for inspiring me to start this mission of mine.  This mission of educating the public on chronic pain and invisible illnesses.  If not for Nikki, I honestly don't think I'd have the guts; the self-esteem, to move forward and pursue this.  Because of Nikki though,  I've found the contact information for the first place I'm going to contact in regards to trying to book a seminar.  It's a nearby university that has a medical school.  I'm going to contact the medical school, and the Student Life department of the campus.  I'm hoping that one or both, will give me a booking.  I'm also going to try another nearby university too, that doesn't have a medical school.  I'm sure there are many students, and faculty alike, that suffer from chronic pain and/or invisible illnesses.  I'm confident that I can provide a much needed service to many out there.  I'm nervous about finally taking this step, but I can also say that I'm excited too.  This may very well be the beginning of a brand new career for me.