Sunday, July 22, 2012

Quality VS Quantity Of Life

Last night, I went with my kids and their friends to the little village that's 5 miles away from us.  They have a little one day festival type thing, then end the night with fireworks.  Since I wasn't able to watch fireworks on the 4th of July, I was excited to go.

Every year I take photos of the fireworks but this year, I decided to try and video them too.  My camera is a Canon T3i and it's supposed to have professional quality HD video built in.  I'd never tried using it before though, so I was fumbling around in the dark trying to figure it out lol.  I couldn't believe though, how much it hurt me to video it.  I had to tape a little, then shut the video off, then tape a little.  A minute or so into the third taping, I had to ask my daughter to take it.  I was left with horrible neck, shoulder and arm pain, and it put a charley horse in the middle of my back.  Even with the first taping I did, I missed having it centered and getting it all in, due to the pain it was causing me to hold the camera up aimed at the sky.

I was going to upload the first clip, to show how shaky I was trying to video right from the beginning, but for some reason I couldn't get it to upload to blogger.  It keeps telling me there was a problem uploading the video, but it doesn't tell me what the problem is lol. I will insert some photos of fireworks instead I guess.  I had taken some before I got the idea to try and use my video for the first time.

We all know that doing simple household tasks can be hard or even not doable at all sometimes, but it's the simple, little things, like trying to shoot a video with a camera that always throws me for a loop.  Things that people take for granted and don't even think about.  I never would've guessed how much it would hurt me to take a video.  My neck and arms still hurt this afternoon from it.  

This is no way to have to live.  Fibromyalgia (or insert Lupus, Arthritis, CFS/ME, etc) may not be fatal, but it sure stills your quality of life.  I've always believed that quality is better then quantity, and that holds true in my health and my life.  Not being able to bend over and pick something up from the floor, or run a sweeper. Being in tears after fixing a meal...sometimes in tears after just frying an egg, having to take breaks to unload and reload a dishwasher....  I could go on and on.  That's not quality, that's quantity.  I have a friend that wants my daughter, her boyfriend, and I to go to the zoo with him.  He told me to pick a day that I wouldn't be in a lot of pain.  I rolled my eyes and told my daughter and her boyfriend that this friend of mine needs to be the first one signing up for my seminar to learn the truth about living with chronic pain.  Oh how I wish I could know what day would be better then another for pain.  Unfortunately, it just doesn't work that way.  

I'm asking again, for you all to please share this blog with your friends and family.  If you're a blogger yourself, please share this blog with your readers.  It's so very important to me, to educate people about life with an invisible illness that causes chronic pain.  Unless you live with it yourself, it's really hard to grasp what life is like, living this way.  Someone once said to me "At least you don't have cancer.  That could kill you and with this you won't die.".  I paused, then responded with "You're right.  It won't kill me.  Have you thought about the fact though, that people with cancer have hope?  There are solid treatment plans mapped out for all types of cancer.  A person with cancer, has hope of one day being cured.  They have hope of their pain and sickness ending.  Even if they do die, at least they aren't living for years and years in sickness and in pain.  One way or another, their pain ends.  I don't have that hope.  I know that I will have to live every day of my life hurting and sick.  If the quality of my life is going to be so limited and so painful, then do I really want to live until I'm 70? 80? 90 years old?".  I also went on to say that I know what a horrible beast cancer is, and my heart breaks for those that have to go through cancer.  Please don't think I'm an insensitive jerk because I'm not.  In fact, had I finished nursing school, I wanted to work in pediatric oncology.  This is just a way to get people to stop and think about what invisible illness and chronic pain sufferers go through.   I'm really hoping for a packed house for my seminar, because people really need to understand and learn.  They really need to stop and think.  Again, please share this site or my facebook page, and the flyer for my seminar.  I thank you all in advance!


  1. Chronic pain makes me short and crabby.

  2. I agree Lisa. It does me too. In fact, I just started a load of laundry then immediately unloaded the dish washer. I crippled in here to my computer chair and collapsed, gasping in lower back pain. It still is here, but has now moved from a sharp dull pain to a burning pain. I just grouched at my daughter and her boyfriend to please quit talking to me because I was trying to read and they keep interrupting me. I feel like a mean jerk now. I'm lucky that they understand why I get like this sometimes, and they still love me.

  3. that is one of the things that *really* gets me; the suprise pains. The other stuff, i expect, i guess.

  4. Girl, you need a tripod for that camera. I hate trying to hold a camera a video recording something. It kills my neck and shoulders also. Someone would think we were holding something that weighed fifty pounds or something.

  5. Hi Amy,

    Thanks for following my blog and I am now a follower of your blog. It's great to have all this support as I have many more health issues and also suffer from fibro.


  6. I was explaining to my husband one day, how I enjoyed having "normal" pain after surgery. It had a time frame of ending. Or that when I get bronchitis, I know when the sick feeling will end, and I count the days of medicine, and when I will feel better from it. I like the way you put it.

  7. Hi I just wanted to let you know that I have nominated you for the ''Sunshine blog award.'' You can go here to see the details of the award: http://www.livinglifewithfms.com/2012/07/sunshine-blog-award_30.html