Tuesday, December 18, 2012

A Dilemma - Wrestled With Should I or Shouldn't I

Someone contacted me and asked me to post the link to my donation page for the seminar (which I kindly pointed out was located on the right hand side of this blog), and said that they know the struggles I've gone through this year, both mentally and physically.  They said that they know it's been very hard for me monetarily with my husband leaving and my health not allowing me to work, because they're a facebook friend of mine and have seen my status updates. They asked me to post my PayPal email address too.  Well, last Friday I'd posted on my personal facebook page that I hadn't received a child support payment in two weeks and the 2 previous payments I'd received wasn't even for as much as it's ordered to be.  I said I could about cry because I was over $400 short on bills for the month and still had Christmas shopping to do. I had a lady on there tell me I should just be grateful to get anything.  I explained to her that in the past this wouldn't have been a problem because I could, and did, work to support myself and my family.  I told her that it's just so very hard now, because I'm sick and unable to work.  She responded by telling me if I'm unable to work, that I shouldn't have any kids and told me "for lack of a better word, you're USELESS".  Yep, she sure did and she even used the caps as I've quoted.  I can't tell you how much this stung.  My oldest daughter, 23 and a grad student, responded and told her that I've always found a way to support my children and that I've always been a good mother.  The request for my info came in on Saturday and I was still pretty raw with hurt feelings from Friday, so I've just sat on it.  When I emailed the person back and thanked them for the offer, I told her it would make me feel bad to do what she'd asked me to do because I was afraid that others might think and feel about me the same way the facebook lady felt.  She responded back and told me that she herself wouldn't be able to do very much but that she really wanted to do what she could and that I should put it out there because even if it's only a few dollars, that a lot of people like to help others that are down on their luck at this time of year.  She told me that right now keeping up this blog is my "job" and that it's not wrong to accept donations for the "job" I do.  I still feel really funny about this, but I've decided that I'll do it. Please, no one think you "must" contribute to either (the seminar donation page  for the seminar overhead or my paypal for my personal use).  Getting these words out is worse then having teeth pulled to me.  I extremely dislike asking for help.  It was explained to me though, that if I don't post it that I could be taking someones good deed for God, away from them (that is the way my mother explained it to me when I told her about this situation).  Sooo, if you want to donate to the seminar fund, there's a GoFundMe button on the right hand side of the page.  Just click it and it'll take you where you need to go.  If you want to contribute to my PayPal for my own personal bill/Christmas usage, my PayPal address is: jaammull(at)aol(dot)com.  I'm completely embarrassed to do this, yet I'm humbled that someone thinks enough of me to want me to post it.  I'm conflicted.


  1. Take heart. Not everyone is as insensitive as that. People could say the same thing to me - if you can't afford kids you shouldn't have had them. Well, when I had my kids, I could not have anticipated that on my 30th wedding anniversary (today) I would have been separated from their father for 4 years (we can't afford a lawyer) and raising them with no child support on half the salary I made when they were born.

    So leave your donation information available. If people want to donate, they can. All I can offer is moral support, as I won't be able to do much of a Christmas for my kids, either. (They are 19 and 17, and I think they understand.)

    And to top it all off, I don't even have my Christmas ornaments because my future ex-husband's buddy stole them. (That what I call it when you take something that isn't yours, even if you think it belongs to your friend.) So my kids' "baby's first christmas" ornaments, ornaments from when I was a kid even, all are gone. We found a mouse nest in the christmas tree box (it had been in storage in the garage at our last place), so that went in the trash. And I'm currently without a car since the end of October and probably at least another month before I can buy another cheap set of wheels.

    On the other hand, my girls and I have a roof over our heads, and enough to eat, even if it's not always our favorite foods. I've got a job, and we are warm and safe. So I try to concentrate on the good things.

    Sorry for the long comment - I should just go write a blog post, huh?

  2. Carol, I'm so sorry that you too, are in this situation. Stealing your Christmas tree ornaments was extremely pathetic. I too, am grateful for a roof over our heads, and food to eat. I just hope come the end of the month (the 26th) I still have electric to cook the food with lol.