Thursday, May 3, 2012

Now What's Wrong With Me?

This afternoon I received a call from my rheumatologists office.  I have an appointment a week from today, so I figured it was just a reminder call.  Nope.  My rheumy has decided that I need a bunch of other consults.  I live around 2hrs from The Cleveland Clinic, so they scheduled everything for me in the same day.  Boy is it going to make a long day though.

My original appointment with rheumatology is for 2:30pm.  Now, I also have a 10:45am appointment with the GYN department.  As soon as I'm done there, I need to head to X-Ray.  Once I'm done with X-Ray I need to go to the lab for a blood draw.  Then hopefully after that I'll have time in there to grab some lunch at the hospital (Oh joy!  Hospital cafeteria food.) before my appointment with rheumatology.  After that appointment I have to go have an ultra-sound done. Then, a 2 hour drive back home again.

I'm grateful that my soon-to-be-ex-husband is willing to take a vacation day and take me.  -As long as he follows through with that.  He's been pretty bad at saying one thing, then doing another since he left me April 8th.  If he doesn't follow through with this, I don't know what I'll do because I don't have a working car at this time.  Even if I did, I have horrible anxiety and freak out in heavy traffic to the point that I sometimes cry...and this is when I'm just a passenger.  I absolutely couldn't handle being the one to drive it, and driving it alone.  On the other hand, it's going to be a long awkward, stressful day being with him all day I'm afraid.

I'll admit that I'm a little worried about these other tests.  Especially the blood draw.  It's to check my WBC count, because the last two I've had done have been high.  I was told that Dr. Gota is very concerned about this and if this one comes back high as well, that I'll need to see a hematologist.  I don't have a clue what this means, and wasn't given any information as to what this means.  Whenever I'm told that my doctor is concerned though, and a mention of having to go to another type of specialist, is enough to worry me.  Knowing that I'm doing it all with the man I'm still madly in love with, and that he's told me he doesn't love me and in all honesty doesn't even know if he cares what happens to me, is going to make it all that more stressful I'm afraid. 

If you all could spare some good thoughts, positive energy, and/or prayers for me, I'd be very grateful.  I need good thoughts that I don't get scary news concerning my health...and prayers that he isn't a mean jerk to me while I'll be with him the entire day.  I'm anxious to get this over with and what new, if any, diagnosis' I get from these tests.  If it's something bad then I'd rather know sooner then later, and face it head on.


  1. I'm sending good thoughts and positive vibes your way!

  2. You know that I am sending good thoughts and prayers your way! Keep your chin up and keep looking up to the man upstairs! {{HUGS}}

  3. Thank you Sherry & Tammy. I'm so greatful that I've met you ladies and have you both in my corner.

  4. Hang in there girl. At least all your tests will be done on one day,in the same place.

    I'll be thinking of you and sending tons of good thoughts.

    Massive Aussie hugs

  5. Hugs and prayers, my friend. I hope you'll be able to feel us there with you.


    (Tina from a previous bb we both used to go to.)

  6. Hi Tina, it's so very nice to hear from you. I hope you & the boys are doing well. My personal email is listed in the about me contact section of this blog. Feel free to drop me a line sometime.

  7. Hopefully it just sounds scary but is not. I too suffer from anxiety,and driving long distances is not my favorite thing to do, though I have done it. I hope J keeps his word and takes you. Will your dad do it if he doesn't? I am thinking of you and praying all turns out alright.